When we were raising children we learned the power of understanding that “the purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship”. For example, washing dishes with our son or daughter might have a visible immediate, short-term consequence: cleaner dishes. But having clean dishes was not our purpose behind our washing of the dishes with that child. Our purpose, which we needed to keep forefront in our minds while washing, was the strengthening of love in our relationship with that child.
I found, to my surprise, a parallel insight in King Benjamin’s speech in the Book of Mosiah.
In Mosiah 2:4 the people of Zarahemla are gathered to offer sacrifices and to give thanks that, among other things, King Benjamin “had taught them to keep the commandments of God, that they might rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all men”.
Sounds to me that, even though scriptures often cite particular blessings that come as a consequence of keeping one commandment or another, we fool ourselves if we treat commandments as though they had being given to us so that we may receive particular blessings. Blessings may be an immediate or delayed consequence of obedience to a commandment (just like cleaner dishes are a consequence of joint dishwashing) but it’s clear from this passage that the giving of specific blessings is not God’s purpose behind, nor His motivation for, His giving us commandments. His real purpose is to enable us to rejoice and be filled with love towards Him and towards all.
Therefore, it also seems to me that if we think we are keeping Gods commandments, but we are not experiencing changes that make us more filled with love, we definitely need to rethink our understanding and assumptions and attitudes, and even our very character, in regards to the way we approach and comprehend the very concept of obedience to His commandments.
This, of course, leads very well into Benjamin’s Mosiah 3:19 discussion about yielding to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putting off the natural (self-focused-what do I get from it?) man and becoming a saint through the atonement of Christ, and, in that process of connecting with Christ and embracing that amazing gift of his, becoming, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord sees fit to inflict upon us. There is a clear difference between approaching commandments while you are doing that kind of change in your life, as opposed to approaching God’s commandments and attempting obedience all the while watching for or expecting specific blessings or positive consequences for our personal benefit or even for the specific benefit of someone else.
Furthermore, this change in perspective and approach described in Mosiah 3 leads well into Benjamin’s longer discussion, in chapter 4, of how such humility and a change in comprehension as we approach and seek to keep God’s commandments and follow His direction will cause us (and here it is again) to “always rejoice and be filled with the love of God” (Mosiah 4:12) which in turn will influence and make more joyful and loving our response to others, including what we teach our children and how we respond to people in need (vs. 13-18).
There are often very nice, very helpful, short-term personal consequences in our lives as we tackle the task of keeping commandments. but they are simply that: consequences. God’s purpose, however, in inviting us to the task of keeping His commandments is not that we be able to receive positive, short-term, this life or the next, consequences that we hope for. His purpose in that invitation is for us to become engaged in working with Him to strengthen the bonds of love in our relationships...with Him...and with each other.
Understanding that changes things considerably.