Peaches and Walnuts: An allegory

Luke heard about the new high tech company, “Peach”, that was starting up.  He was among those invited to organizational meetings and the business outlined there and the groundwork already laid was exciting to him.  The potential for great success was evident and the market demand for the product, a new device with huge potential in the education market was going to be amazing.  Not only that, he knew the president of this new start up.  He was known for treating his employees well, sponsoring their further education, allowing much room for their creativity and offering excellent profit-sharing plans.  

He was thrilled at the prospect.  He knew that he had found his dream job: CEO of this new start up.  He loved organizing grand projects.  He loved the feeling that comes from successfully effectuating an outstanding business plan.  He loved the feeling that comes from being the mover and shaker, the MVP as it were, in a business.  He let the president of Peach know that he would be interested in having his resume added to the ones being considered for the position of CEO.

Accordingly his resume was considered and he went through the interview process.  His application made it all the way to the final group of candidates.  But, ultimately, he was not offered the job.

Luke was deeply disappointed but he was undaunted.  He still dreamed of being the mover and shaker in this new business.  He purchased stock in the new company and began attending stockholders meetings.  He wrote to and canvassed the other stockholders, outlining concerns about the business plan most recently outlined by the president of the company and urging that they join him in voting in new members of the board of directors, men and women who he knew would put pressure on the company to hire him on as CEO, or at least, COO.  He was intelligent and persuasive.  Peach was forced to mount a major campaign to contradict the inaccurate information Luke disseminated.   In spite of that, many stockholders responded positively to Luke’s efforts and at the next stockholders meeting wrote in the names of the people he proposed for the board during the voting.  Unfortunately for Luke, however, they were not a majority.

Luke’s application had been rejected and his efforts to gain what he desired through persuasion and campaign had failed.  He was not daunted.  He decided to try embedding himself and his influence in the company.

The company’s new product, the “Peach”, was being released to selected markets.  Luke headed to the company’s New Jersey regional offices, a new market where the Peach had not yet been released but where he knew it would be in great demand.  That office was under the direction of two young recent business school graduates who were setting up the office and awaiting further instructions and training before directing the release of the Peach in the New York/New Jersey market.  

Luke presented himself at that office as the son of the president of Peach and mentioned that he had attended the same university as the two regional managers as an undergraduate himself and that he actually remembered meeting them briefly at a Phi Kappa Phi banquet there.  Over the next few days, by spending hours and hours in their offices making himself helpful and engaging and employing his excellent skills at management and some very clever half-truths he was able to persuade those two young regional managers that the Peach needed to be released under his direction.  Luke was placing his money on the belief that an excellent execution of an important market release would prove to the company how vital and important his skill set and involvement would be to Peach.

The Peach was released in that market with far reaching and ultimately profound and positive effect.  However, to his great disappointment, the president of Peach, rather than being impressed or pleased was the opposite.  He arrived at the regional offices in person, ordered Luke out of them and the two young regional managers were sent off to be store managers in small towns in Nevada where they subsequently spent years training endless numbers of young transient employees and updating their knowledge at regional training seminars, being recognized and supported and eventually promoted as all good employees at Peach are, grateful that they had not been fired.  (Peach really is a good company to work for.)

Nursing his hurt pride and his disappointment over his expulsion from the regional office, Luke took some pride in the fact that he had, in his opinion, been the author of the release of the Peach in that regional market and that its release had, indeed,  drastically affected and improved education and learning in that market.  The Peach quickly became an essential component of education that was in great demand and rapidly became “the only game in town.”

Luke liked the idea that the highly successful release he had masterminded had been his brain child and had thoroughly cowed any competitors.  That sense of control and success was awesome.  He wanted to experience it again.

He flew to Nevada to see if he could enlist the cooperation of the two young managers that he had worked with in New Jersey, but, understandably, they didn’t trust him and refused.

He reviewed his options.  He’d applied for a top position at Peach and had not been hired.  He’d tried political maneuvering to get that position and had failed.  And he’d tried moving in uninvited and, though the success of those efforts had been thrilling they had been short-lived, and he was pretty sure he had permanently alienated the president of the company.  He’d been told in no uncertain terms that he was to stay out of company affairs.

That, he decided, was the clue for his next plan of action.  If he wanted to experience the heady aura of being the admired force behind a successful venture, and he couldn’t do in Peach, he'd do it out of Peach.  Even better, he’d do it against Peach.  He’d launch a competitor.

His new company, “Walnut”, made a huge splash when it launched its new device.  Shinier and faster than the Peach, with louder volume and more sparkles and a harder shell, it also was less expensive.  The cost cutting done to reduce the price resulted in the Walnut being less well made than the Peach; (the calculator app on it often malfunctioned and the device had a tendency to explode after a few years of use) but Luke’s degree in communication and his years of debate team championship and his business degree and experience made his direction of the advertising wildly successful.  There have also been campaigns that mail users coupons for prizes simply for logging certain numbers of hours on the devices that have kept sales strong.  Soon the Walnut was giving the Peach a run for its money.

Luke still runs Walnut.  And the Walnuts are still less expensive than the Peaches and sell well and they still, unfortunately, have that calculator glitch and they still explode.  But they are, incontrovertibly, an exciting device to own and use.

Luke’s resentment about his experience with Peach and the thrill he gets from running a successful company that is totally under his control keep him energized and focused.  Each time he recruits an employee away from Peach his sense of victory is sky high.  Each Walnut he sells is a personal dig at Peach and a reason to celebrate.  (One of his favorite stories to tell is that of the teenage son of one of those two Nevada store managers who used his birthday money to buy a Walnut.)  His dream is control of the market, reducing Peach’s market share to as close to zero as he can, showing Peach its mistake in not hiring him, that he really is the best man to run a company.

Peach and Walnut are still both powerhouses in the marketplace.  Walnut’s stock sells well these days.  Fortunes have been made with it.  

Walnut’s employees give the company mixed reviews.  Luke throws fabulous employee parties but his use of pyramid schemes in the company sales department leaves some employees unhappy.  The health benefits and retirement plans offered are not great.  And some complain that the organization is too top-down and controlling.  But the parties are amazing, often including cruises, and are geared to fostering company pride and camaraderie.  And they do that well.  Luke knows they keep his employees thinking twice before looking somewhere else for work.  When one actually does so, his co-workers generally think he’s foolish to leave.

So Luke lives on, working to live his dream of being the essential, irreplaceable leader, the mover and shaker who totally dominates the market, whose product is in great demand, and who is unquestionably the one who deserves and receives the credit for it.  It’s heady stuff.

Would he go back to Peach if he was offered the CEO position there now?

No, not likely.  He feels like the track he’s on is more likely to give him what he seeks than Peach would and he enjoys the management style that he employs at Walnut, which he knows would be resisted strongly at Peach.

And, of course, the longer you compete against another company the less you wish to be employed by it.  The blow to one’s pride would be nearly unbearable.

Buy out Peach with a hostile takeover?  That would be awesome, thinks Luke, but, unlike when he first started this journey, he’d never want to be employed there.

Luke may not be completely happy.  The rejection at Peach still sticks in his craw and he personally despises the president of Peach for that.  But the thrill of the battle and the sense of control and essentialness that he’s created for himself at Walnut are awesome.  He intends to stay the course.

Clear about me and understanding the reality of you.

I have learned or relearned recently that I am at my best when I am fully aware of and able to articulate what I know and wish for AND when I am highly attuned to the reality of the feelings and words of a person with whom I am interacting, without chafing at them.

If I do the first without the second I tend towards selfishness or insensitivity.  If I do the second without the first I can tend to feel taken for granted and to feel disconnected and/or frustrated.

But when I do both together, I am more likely to feel aware, and at peace within, and more connected.  And my ability to act with purpose and clarity increases.

I should remember that.

Decluttering and Minimalism as Mission Prep.

Luke 9 and 10, the sending out of the 12 and the 70 to proclaim the Kingdom of God and to heal those who were ill.

"They were to travel light.  That was simply because the man who travels light travels far and fast.  The more a man is cluttered up with material things the more he is shackled to one place.  God needs a settled ministry; but he also needs those who will abandon earthly things to adventure for him."
~William Barclay, "The Gospel of Luke, Daily Study Bible Series", p. 115

Worship the Lord , Enrich Our Understanding, and Work Together to Bless

Over at thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com there was this commentary (part of which I've pasted and illustrated below) posted on January 22.  It's here if you are interested in reading the whole thing and the ensuing discussion.. I've been to a few Sundays like this. I wish we realized and did this more than we do.

In my opinion, the primary purposes of our Sunday meetings are as follows:  

1) Sacrament Meeting: Worship

2) Sunday School: Doctrinal instruction

3) PH & RS: Community building (including "fellowshipping" activities and temporal matters)

There is room for some overlap, but only within the parameters of the purposes. For example: 

1) It's OK to provide doctrinal instruction in Sacrament Meeting, but that instruction should be about worship-focused things. 

Grace, charity, meekness, forgiveness and any other godly characteristic is fine as a topic for a talk, as long as they are presented as aspects of true emulative worship - but tithing, food storage, HT & VT, etc. are not appropriate Sacrament Meeting topics. Anything can be related tangentially to worship by a good speaker, but it should not be necessary for a speaker to take a non-worship-focused topic and bend it into an appropriate topic.

(APF photo, Chevy Chase, MD)

2) Sunday School should be a school - and I prefer the group discussion model for ALL classes comprised of members who've been attending long enough to have a fairly solid doctrinal foundation. I want real meat in Gospel Doctrine, for example - with those members occasionally cycling through Gospel Essentials (maybe once every five years or so), just to make sure the foundation milk doesn't get sour.

3) PH & RS should be about people - defining and planning service, discussing HT & VT, discussing how to find and reach and inspire others, lessons on those things that really aren't worship-focused but community-centered (like tithing, food storage, emergency preparedness, fast offerings, even temple attendance, etc.), basic get-to-know-you activities, learning from the life experiences of others, genealogy, etc.

Lydia of Thyratira, by Harold Copping

When to hang in there and when to do something else

Recenlty, while visiting, J mentioned that some of the families in his ward choose, occasionally or regularly, not to send their children to nursery, generally because they perceive it as disorganized and chaotic and/or not very helpful to their child at this stage. He asked me what I thought about that sort of decision.

So I have been thinking about that. It seems to me that it’s related to the “flee into the wilderness” and “succor the weak” dichotomy that often raises its head in the process of raising children. How do you strike the balance between a) encouraging your children to hang in there and help and b) finding good alternatives that do not include participating if participation is damaging? And how damaging is too damaging? How do you tell when it’s time to do which?

As I look at stories of people in the scriptures I find that that sometimes the counsel is to hang in there and “strengthen the feeble knees”, and sometimes the counsel is to do something else. I think it’s important to note that in each of those situations was no change in the individual’s theology and never, in their creation of something else, bitterness, and always, charity and openness to partially or fully re-engage in an activity when directed. So I’m not talking about rejection or despair, I’m just talking about knowing when to hang in there to help and when it’s time to change the nature of your involvement.

I remember counseling with H. over the challenge of dealing with A.'s constant fascination with violence and anti-social disruption in quorum activities, with Y. over whether or not to continue attending Sunday school classes where behavior was destructive, with K. on how to respond to her children’s complaints about their seminary teacher’s obstructive and competitive methods, I remember my father having pleasant, thoughtful gospel discussions in the car in the parking lot at church when my brother protested that he hated his Sunday school class, I remember my mother worrying over children (not her own) in the Primary she served in who really wanted to learn but who were thwarted by the behaviors of disruptive and unkind classmates.

Those are all church examples, but the same sorts of dilemmas turn up just as frequently at work, in schooling, in politics, in recreation and in community service.

As a parent it is tricky. You want to teach your children how to cope with bad behavior, to be supportive of people who are trying to do good, and to respond to difficult situations with courage and charity. At the same time, you realize that your children are not as powerful and competent as adults. They are still learning and vulnerable. When to teach and encourage coping and helping skills and when to create an alternative to a situation that is damaging while still being supportive of the good people who are called to stay? Sometimes you will be inspired to do one, and sometimes you will be inspired to do the other.

I think that, whichever of the two you are inspired to do, in whichever situation comes up, there are certain gospel principles that will be essential to that decision.

First, there is the real need for your child to feel like his feelings, responses to the situation, and his protests are, in your opinion, legitimate concerns that you respond to with empathy. Whether the decision is to hang in there or to do something else, he needs to know that you have his back and think his ideas and feelings are of vital importance to you and that you consider them deeply. That requires careful listening without contradicting or minimizing what the child is saying. Empathetic listening is also important in considering the needs of the child rather than your own because choosing for your child based on your own feelings alone can be detrimental, even manipulative, to your relationship with the child. 

Second there is the need for the child to learn how to respond with charity. This he learns from you. This Nephi learned from his father’s response to the people in Jerusalem and his response to Laman and Lemuel. Sorrow for sin and no rancor towards for the people who harm, either on purpose or inadvertently is a godly skill to learn. If the decision is to hang in there, that means discussing how to respond with charity in bad situations. If the decision is to create an alternative, that means learning how to proceed on that new path without denigrating the situation that you are choosing not to participate in and being supportive of it in ways that are helpful to those who are still in it.

Third, the child needs to be a vital participant in the discussion of the problem and the creating and testing of solutions. He will need that skill as an adult. It is important that he be able to experiment and practice it with you.

Fourth, the child needs to learn the process of discerning personal inspiration, the process of making a decision and seeking spiritual affirmation, then, down the road, discussing it again with the Lord, making changes as inspiration and circumstances and strengths change. Inspiration to a certain course of action at a given moment is not to be taken as a permanent decision governing the rest of one’s life. If he learns that personal revelation is an ongoing experience with ongoing situations it will save him much frustration all his life.

When they are small, your children have very little experience and your part in making the decisions and helping them to cope or to create and manage an alternative will be huge. As they grow, their experience increases, they’ve started picking up on the principles you’ve been modeling, and the ratio of your involvement to their initiative slowly changes over time. The four principles, however, empathetic, respectful listening, charity, creative problem solving, and personal revelation for one’s own life and one’s own tasks always remain the same.

The goal is to raise children who, by the time they are adults, have learned how to deal wisely with difficult situations, how to evaluate carefully the struggles of others that make group work difficult, how to respond with charity to those who fail to do what’s needful, and how to determine when they have the resources necessary to pitch in and help and when they need to bow out and find other ways to do the good that’s not being done.

So, my answer to J.'s question would probably be another question: were those four principles part of the decision? The parent of a nursery child could use those four principles and make a decision to stay and the parent of another could make a decision to do something else using those same four principles, and both would be doing what was most helpful in the life of the child. And in that case, both would be wise decisions.

Send Me

Send me, I will be thy son, I will do the job with 100% results for sure, give me thine honor.

or

Thy will be done, the glory be thine.

They actually, at this point, were both interested in allying themselves with the Father.

I am too.

This wasn't just a one-time event with two people proposing two ways of going about God's work.

I think this is a conflict of interests that goes on in the hearts of God's disciples every day.  It feels so good for God to give you a job to do and  to do it really well and feel the respect that comes from others when you do it.  ("not one soul will be lost...surely I will do it...give me thine honor") And we want that feeling again.  And subconsciously we make that good feeling the measure we use to feel success, worthiness or acceptability in God's eyes.

But that's not the path outlined.

The measure, if we need one, is simply our willingness to do his will, however we can, and to fully understand that any success is simply His.  ("thy will be done..the glory be thine")

And I believe that outlined path leads to a place where we don't even need a personal way to measure.

It seems to me that unity with the Father's will makes it so you don't think about how you measure up and the respect of others for what you do becomes irrelevant..

Family photo circa 1919

From left to right, June Ida Holmes, Ernest Eldredge Holmes, Mary Laurine Holmes, Ida (Eldredge) Holmes, Samuel Lamar Holmes, Ernest Samuel Holmes.

Mary Laurine Holmes, who was about 10 years old when this photo was taken, is my maternal grandmother.

It's good and worthy and the answer is no.

I have a young, devout, female friend, who, when she approached the age at which she could apply to serve as a missionary, felt that it was likely that serving a mission would be the best thing that she could do and she was excited at the prospect.

Being devout, she took that decision to the Lord in prayer, and after much seeking, felt that the answer was no, she should not.  She was not particularly happy with that answer.  Friends of hers were departing for missions, it looked like good, praiseworthy, and exciting work to be engaged in.  She would have loved to have received a "yes".

It was also difficult for her because in her circles of friends, serving a mission was considered one of the most devoted and praiseworthy and positive decisions one could take.  Women who did so were admired and respected.  Why, if it were an option, and she was willing, would the Lord tell her no?

We live in a world where it is considered best to do as many good things as possible; that passing up opportunities to do a good thing is something that you will regret; or if you cannot do all the good options at least do the options that are perceived as the most noble and good, if you have to pick and choose.

But Jesus didn't say do as many good things as you can.  And he didn't say that the ones you think are be most noble and good are the ones you should do.  He said, do good, and the standard he held for that for himself in that regard was "doing the will of the Father".

Jesus could have done many good things in his lifetime that he did not do.  He focused on the one thing that the Father had indicated was most important for him to do, which, in his case, was making it possible for us to be "raised up at the last day".

John, chapter 6

³⁸ For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.

³⁹ And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.

⁴⁰ And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.

That's a much bigger calling than any of us have, but the principle applies to all of his disciples.  Our best task or purpose at any given stage of our lives, in God's eyes, is the one he sets for us.  And that is not necessarily, every time, the one we assume would be the most noble or admirable.  

The goal is not to do the tasks we think are the most noble and good.  Nor is it to take advantage of every opportunity to do good. Rather it is to tackle the tasks He calls us to do.  And to celebrate when our sisters and brothers do theirs.

Teaching after 40 Days

Jesus' early teaching, as chronicled by Luke, was powerful.
"Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about."
"And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified of all."
"And all bare him witness and wondered at the gracious words that proceeded out of his mouth."
"And they were astonished at his doctrine: for his word was with power."

It's interesting to me that these words fall hard on the heels of Jesus' 40 day fast and his encounter with Satan in the wilderness, in which Satan tried to persuade him to act contrary to the will of God.  Was Jesus reminded of what powerful teaching is and what it is not by that encounter?

Three temptations are chronicled in Luke, chapter 4: the temptation to turn stones into bread to assuage his hunger, the temptation to assume and enjoy worldly power, and the temptation to go careening off the pinnacle of the temple and be caught by angels.  Satan tries to persuade Jesus to his way of thinking by telling him that he won't have to be hungry if he does.  He tries to persuade Jesus to his way of thinking by telling him that he will not only be a powerful influence in the world but also one that others will listen to and obey and praise and give much wealth and prestige to if he does.  And he tries to entice him to his way of thinking by employing the allure of excitement and thrilling experiences.

And as you read Jesus further teaching in the rest of that chapter and over the next three years, he eschews all three methods of presenting his message.

He feeds people when they have traveled far to listen to him are far from food and helps them catch fish, but the only bread he ever promises they will have if they ally themselves to his gospel is "the bread of life."  Though there is work to be done to help feed those who are hungry in his life there is no promise of freedom from hunger in discipleship.

His sermons are clear that discipleship to him is a life of humility, meekness, forgiveness, turning the other cheek, being submissive to those in power, and serving one another.  There is no promise or increase of social, political or economic power or influence or respect coming to those who choose his way.

And there are no thrills.  There is a lot of walking on dusty roads, and stopping to talk and to help and a lot of prayer in his work.  But anything unusual, like a healing, is understated and usually wrapped up with the admonition to "tell no man".   And he expects his disciples to do the same.

And his teaching, accepted by some and soundly rejected by others, was powerful.

As I teach the gospel to young people, I think I should keep this in mind.

What might we aim for?

From Morgan's "Five Goals" (to teach young people) posted over at By Common Consent:

Receive baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost
Become a faithful home or visiting teacher
Make and keep temple covenants
Get a good education
Give back.


And learn to love like Jesus does.  (Marvin Ashton)

Testimony Meeting

Mennonite church meeting in the Canary Islands

"I sat in many testimony meetings as a child and still occasionally hear our pastor call for words from the congregation.  If I think I should speak, my palms still perspire and my knees tremble.  Will people think my ideas foolish?  Will they trust my experience? Is my life consistent enough that I dare open my mouth publicly?  What I have to say is nothing new anyway!

."..let's look at what a testimony meeting tries to do.  Such a meeting does not report how God acts or how people always respond.  It never assumes common experience--otherwise there would be no point at all in holding it..  A testimony meeting expects that God gives unique skills and experiences to people and communities, and that sharing stories will strengthen everyone who hears.  A testimony meeting believes in 'many gifts, one Spirit'." [1st Corinthians 12]

~Doris Janzen Longacre, Living More With Less, p. 31-32

Longacre was a devout Mennonite.  I have benefited from what she wrote and compiled over the years.  And this passage struck me today.  

I listened to a diverse array of testimonies in my congregation last Sunday.  Did you?

It's easy for me to sit there grading testimonies:  

"Makes sense."  

"Yeah."  

"What?"  

"Not a chance, Buster". 

"Still has much to learn."  

"Some truth there."   

"Uh oh.  La-la land".  

And then compare what I hear with my own understanding and faith and consider whether or not my testimony, if expressed, would be helpful at all to people who are listening the way I am.

Our testimony meetings are, I realize, better understood and more beneficial if we see them as an opportunity to listen to people talk about experiences and belief that they feel have been touched by the Spirit of God rather than only an opportunity to listen to others confirm, by the Spirit, what we in the congregation already know.  We should not see testimony meetings primarily as an opportunity for people to only talk, when spiritually moved to stand and speak, about aspects of commitment and faith that feel common to our mutual experience.  As I listen to a diversity of experiences I widen my understanding of how God is perceived to work in many different lives, and that gives me much to consider and softens my heart. 

When we listen to testimonies born that reflect experiences different from our own with a kind heart, it is a gift both to the speaker and to ourselves.  Of course we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people and so not everyone will listen to you that way when you stand and speak.  I certainly slip into testimony critique mode easily and I assume that others do too.  And not everyone who bears testimony feels free to express, fully, what they feel in their heart.  So I acknowledge that what I am proposing may seem a bit daunting if you look at it from the point of view of a potential testimony bearer.  But I believe that the more of us who understand this way of listening to and bearing testimony, the more edifying our listening experiences will be.

Many Gifts, One Spirit  (a nice song to listen to)

Blessed art thou

"And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:

 And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb...And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.."

I think about the common use of the word "blessed".  And I think about Mary.

What was she facing? 

The gift of being called to bear and raise God's son.  

The challenge of carrying an unborn child that is God's son while betrothed to Joseph.  How must it have felt to carry that child when probably no one would believe your story of an angelic annunciation and divine conception and at at time when sexual infidelity meant fierce social ostracism at best and stoning at worst?

And the eventual experience of witnessing the crucifixion of her child.

Blessed means more that just things that give us new, glorious tasks, or make life more peaceful or help us solve our problems.  Sometimes being blessed by God means that, along with the peaceful things and hopeful things, our course will take us through experiences that will require absolutely every ounce of faith and courage and trust in God we can muster and will still be grievous to be born.

Blessedness can require much of us.

The Principle of Modesty. Teaching Beyond the Rules

There are many discussions going on in my religious community about how NOT to teach modesty.  But if we are to throw out misleading or inadequate ways of teaching the principle we cannot just rail against the current approaches.  It is imperative that we create something with which to replace them.

I believe that the key is to help young people understand that modesty isn't just how you dress. It is actually an intricate combination of the divine attributes of confidence, humility, respect and charity in multiple aspects of our lives. Modesty in its most complete forms resides most predominantly in our spirits. Teaching that the definition of modesty is the way we dress is akin to telling someone that the definition of a solidly constructed house is the location of its doors and windows.  The principles of sound construction engineering in the construction of a house will influence the location of the doors and windows.  Similarly, principles of modesty that you put into practice in your life will influence the way you dress.  But locating the doors and windows in certain locations will not, by itself, create a sound structure.  And learning "modest" clothing practices will fail, by itself, to create the divine character of modesty in your soul.

If modesty is, in fact, a combination of different divine attributes, in other words the “divine nature” young women are reminded of each Sunday, perhaps one way to approach this would be to see if we can identify divine attributes in any of the following authoritative definitions of “modesty”.

mod·es·ty First known use of the word in English: 1531

[mod-uh-stee]

noun, plural mod·es·ties.

1. freedom from vanity, boastfulness,etc.

2. Regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

3. Simplicity; moderation.

It's worth noting that the the definition of modesty given on lds.org is clearly related to these definitions:

Do you see any of God's qualities in those definitions?

"Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to 'glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit'"

While looking at thesaurus lists of synonyms and antonyms, you may find further insights into the divine nature of modesty:

Synonyms

down-to-earthness, humbleness, lowliness, meekness, humility

Antonyms

arrogance, assumption, bumptiousness, conceit, egoism, egotism, haughtiness, hauteur, huffiness, imperiousness, loftiness, lordliness, peremptoriness, pomposity, pompousness, presumptuousness, pretense, pretension, pretentiousness, pride, pridefulness, superciliousness, superiority, toploftiness

Near Antonyms

aggressiveness, audaciousness, brashness, brassiness, cheek, cheekiness, cockiness, forwardness, overconfidence, swagger, swash, temerity, impertinence, impudence, insolence, nerve, sauciness, boastfulness, chest-thumping, self-applause, self-assumption, self-centeredness, self-complacency, self-conceit, self-glorification, self-importance, self-satisfaction, vaingloriousness, vanity, disdain, flamboyance, ostentation, ostentaciousness, showiness

Think about the nature of God as it relates to the above qualities (and their antonyms).  What can you add to your list of godly characteristics after reading through them?

 it is interesting to see how the list you have so far relates to what several church leaders of our church as well as other churches have said as they've tried to describe modesty.

“Modesty is often talked of in terms of dress and appearance, but modesty encompasses much more than the outward appearance. It is a condition of the heart.” Ann Dalton

"Modesty is not just cultural. Modesty is a gospel principle that applies to people of all cultures and ages. In fact, modesty is fundamental to being worthy of the Spirit. To be modest is to be humble, and being humble invites the Spirit to be with us.” (Robert D. Hales, Modesty, Liahona, Aug 2008)

"Modesty is the virtue that presents goodness in its proper color: one of elegance rather than affluence, economy rather than extravagance, naturalness rather than ostentation. 'What a power has white simplicity,' as Keats has aptly remarked. Modesty is the virtue that allows one to focus on what is good without being distracted by irrelevant superficialities." ~Donald DeMarco, Catholic theologian

"Modesty is, as it were, the body's conscience. The modest person is not interested in displaying his talents and attainments for people to admire. He even shuns making himself the subject of conversation. He is more eager to know what he needs to know than to parade what he already knows. He has a healthy sense of himself as he is and is less concerned about how others view him...The modest person is aware of his limitations and retains the capacity to blush. A person blushes when he is suddenly the object of praise or attention. It catches him off guard at a moment when he is interested in something other than himself. The essence of modesty is self-forgetfulness." ~Donald Demarco,

In Doctrine and Covenants 4:6 there is a nice list of godly attributes:

"Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, dilgence"

Look at the list you are compiling.  Are there other godly attributes that you would add to this list to describe modesty?

(Important side note: virtue is another oft misunderstood word. The definition I'd assume here is the dictionary one of “moral excellence, goodness, righteousness, or conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles, uprightness)

Now that you've read through the above descriptions of the nature of modesty and this list of divine qualities in Doc & Cov 4:6 and added a few of your own, you have, I believe, some keys to the major question I believe each of us needs to answer thoughtfully.

Which divine attributes of God, “divine nature”, are essential parts of the definition of modesty?

Write that down.

Once that list is compiled and written out, can you find those divine attributes that you've designated referenced in the following scriptures?

"Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you," 1 Peter 5:5-6

“Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Colossians 3:12

It is interesting to to me to contemplate the “clothing” metaphors used here, and particularly in reference to this verse:

"For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s." 1^st Corinthians 6:20

Consider: What does it mean to glorify God in your spirit, or to clothe your spirit in a way which glorifies God and expresses God's divine attributes that you've identified in this exercise?

What does it mean to glorify God in your body, or to clothe your body in a way which glorifies God and expresses God's divine attributes that you've identified?  

Here are a few quotes that express how some others have answered those questions:

“To be gentle and kind, modest and truthful, to be full of faith and integrity, doing no wrong is of God; goodness sheds a halo of loveliness around every person who possesses it, making their countenances beam with light, and their society desirable because of its excellency. They are loved of God, of holy angels, and of all the good earth..” Brigham Young

1 Timothy 2:9-10 which says “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest [remember the definition of “modest” we've learned] apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;”

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4

And they did impart of their substance, every man according to that which he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted; and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely. Alma 1:27

“Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.” Philippians 2:3

“I believe that truly it is what's inside a person that counts, but that's what worries me. Casual dress at holy places and events is a message about what is inside that person. It may be pride or rebellion or something else, but at a minimum it says, 'I don't get it. I don't understand the difference between the sacred and the profane.'” D. Todd Christofferson

In 1869, Brigham Young told his daughters: "All Israel are looking to my family and watching the example set by my wives and children. For this reason I desire to organize my own family first into a society for the promotion of habits of order, thrift, industry, and charity; and above all things I desire them to retrench from their extravagance in dress, in eating and even in speech. I am weary of the manner in which our women seek to outdo each other in all the foolish fashions of the world. I want you to set your own fashions. Let your apparel be neat and comely, and the workmanship of your hands. I have long had it in my mind to organize the young ladies of Zion into an association so that they might assist the older members of the Church, their fathers and mothers, in propagating, teaching, and practicing the principles I have been so long teaching. I wish our girls to obtain a knowledge of the gospel for themselves."

“The modest person is content with living well and performing good deeds without fanfare. For him, life is essential, rewards are superfluous. He believes that nature opens to a wider world, whereas ornamentation stifles. He is always averse to gilding the lily. He is confident without being demure, unpretentious without being self-defeating. He lets his actions and words speak for themselves.” ~Donald DeMarco

“Among the real heroines in the world who will come into the Church are women who are more concerned with being righteous than with being selfish. These real heroines have true humility, which places a higher value on integrity than on visibility. Remember, it is as wrong to do things just to be seen of women as it is to do things to be seen of men.” (President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, Nov 1979)

“The Greek translation of modesty (kosmios) means roughly "orderly" or "proper," and the word appears only once in Scripture, in Paul's first letter to Timothy: "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes …" (2:9).1 Peter 3:3-4 includes a similar message, that women should adorn themselves with a gentle spirit instead of fancy jewelry and clothing. In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul also addresses head coverings, an important topic given first-century Mideast cultural attitudes about women's hair (the essence of female beauty, and thus primarily meant for husbands' viewing; some Christian women cover their heads today). But these verses suggest that modesty is not just about quelling sexual temptation. Modesty is also about viewing ourselves humbly and dressing accordingly, refraining from using clothing (or the lack thereof) to draw attention to ourselves and boost self-esteem.”

~Katelyn Beaty, managing editor of Christianity Today,

And finally:

This excellent essay on modesty by a young student, Geneva Wright, Princeton class of 2014 published in The Princeton Tory, November 2012  is well worth a read. I am impressed by her articulate discussion and recommend.it to your perusal.

http://theprincetontory.com/main/modesty-value-and-virtue/

What are your thoughts after answering the questions I've posed? As we educate our daughters and our sons, our students and ourselves, how do we teach modesty as a complex and life shaping essential divine nature that comes from within and affects not just what we chose to wear but how we see ourselves and others and our understanding of the divine? How do we move from teaching the outward manifestations as the rule and instead teach the inner metamorphosis and enlightenment that changes our own selves in divine ways?

Early Return Missionaries

A good study with findings that have the capacity to be helpful.

http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/study-explores-impact-of-early-returned-lds-missionaries/article_8eeb56d6-23e6-58a7-a43a-509cd9cd6838.html

Meditation

I spent some time on a city walk this week. The walk passed by this chapel

CJCLDS chapel in Cambridge

and this cathedral

Old South Church

both open and both mostly empty.

I entered each, sat or stood a while looking up and, with the aid of the Spirit in a setting that reminds me of God's light and reality, let the various clamors and questions in my mind settle and prioritize themselves.  And then I walked out, knowing better what was most essential.

Sometimes it's a cathedral and sometimes it's just a front porch or the view out a window.  Either way, that's how meditation seems to work for me.