Doctrine and Covenants 132
verse 15
Therefore, if a aman marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.
A marriage ceremony that creates a marriage that is "not by me nor by my word", i.e. that is neither confirmed by God nor reflective of His word (His gospel, which is anchored in love of God and love fellow men, ) is not a marriage that He will force anyone to honor in the next life. And this reflects what is written in verse 7, that covenants made that are not "sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise" are not enforced in the next life. You are not bound by that marriage ceremony, you are not forced to continue the marriage.
"Sealed", in Websters 1828 dictionary, is defined as "having the seal or stamp of authority placed upon it" in that edition which was from the same era as the writing of this section of the Doctrine and Covenants. However, for some reason in our common speaking of sealing ordinances in the temple we have reduced the definition to a 20th century definition of sealing. We 21st century folks tend to think only of it in terms of being "attached, glued, connected" or "being together forever" rather than the marriage "being recognized authoritatively by God as righteous and good". Probably an error on our part.
Marriage sealings in the temple do not bind people to be together forever, rather they signify that the couple is committed to creating a marriage that would meet godly standards of love and holiness and are commencing that journey, seeking God's blessings and approval as they do so, (some of which blessings are sealed upon them in that ceremony conditional upon their individual faithfulness to God).
verse 16
Therefore, if a aman marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.
If you married a spouse and you neither married him or her with God's approval, nor did you create a marriage that reflects His word, His gospel of faith, hope and charity, then neither one of you is obligated (bound) to remain married to each other after this life.
verse 17
Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in amarriage; but are appointed angels in bheaven, which angels are ministering cservants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.
17 For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are aangels of God forever and ever.
Joseph Smith taught that an angel is a "resurrected or translated body, with its spirit, ministering to embodied spirits" (embodied spirits are what you and I are here, on earth.). (Conference discourse delivered Sunday 3 October 1841, summarized in Times and Seasons 15 October 1841) The scriptures teach that, when we receive resurrection, we will receive glory that reflects our nature, be that celestial, terrestrial, or telestial (Doctrine and Covenants 76:70-81). If that is so, then these verses about marrying and giving in marriage are talking about a stage of existence that is BOTH post mortality AND post-resurrection.
The scriptures also teach that the period between our mortal death and our resurrection for the vast majority of us is very long, and that we will spend a lot of time continuing to learn and grow and develop into the kind of person we really want to be. So, it seems that these verses that talk about angels remaining separately and singly are describing a period of time that is after one's experience with Millennium and after one's resurrection (and the judgment that comes with resurrection).
The Millennium blessedly affords us the the opportunity for more time to learn and grow in light and love. That's a marvelous help to us as we seek to continue to learn and love as God does.
It looks like verse 17, which is about angels, is referring to experiences and ways of being that occur post-resurrection (aka post judgment), and not during our time as spirits still learning during the Millennium.
So it seems likely that the "angels [who] did not abide my law [and] therefore they cannot be enlarged but remain singly..." refers to individuals who, even after a Millenium of growth and change, have discovered that marriage for eternity with all of it's work, joy, grief, effort, responsibility, and care on a scale far greater that what an earthly marriage experience can be, means an eternity of marriage with all the challenges and sorrow (as well as joy) on an exalted scale and that it may not what they think, or God knows, is best for them.
Some people think of eternal marriage in a celestial existence as an eternity of bliss. It does include joy, for sure, but, if you read God's experiences with his unruly children on earth, you also learn that a God's life on a universal scale also includes a tremendous amount of sorrow over His children as He witnesses the destruction and hatred and violence that they way too often descend into on earth. He weeps. And miscreants "experience his wrath". His existence is not just bliss.
verse 18
And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that acovenant is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word;
If a man marries a wife, and makes a covenant with her for all eternity, and it is not approved by God, and does not include living lives that reflect God's word, his counsel and teachings about living a godly, loving, forgiving etc. etc. life, and also is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise (the sealing power of the Holy Spirit is the power given to the Holy Spirit to ratify and approve the righteous acts of men and women so that those acts will be binding on earth and heaven), the marriage will not be binding after death. God does not obligate people to be married. He offers opportunities to create a heavenly marriage (see commentary on verse 17), but he does not obligate his children to stay in a marriage that is not based and lived on righteous principles and actions and thoughts.
verse 19
And again, verily I say unto you, if a man amarry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the bnew and everlasting covenant, and it is csealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of dpromise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the ekeys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection;...it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world;
On the other hand, if a marriage is lived according God's law AND according to the gospel of love and faith and hope taught by Jesus Christ (the new and everlasting covenant) AND sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise (see above, that's critical) then that marriage may become the kind of marriage that has the strength that can last throughout eternity in amazing ways, far beyond our earthly comprehension and survive immense challenges, responding always with wisdom, love and full attention. (Which state of marriage, I would posit, many, many, many of us will not have enough time, or wisdom or experience to create in this life even if we wish for it. I've been living and loving for decades with a terrific husband and I am still clearly not there yet. Which makes me believe that if we do wish for it, we will be grateful for a millennium of time to try, with God's grace, to create it.)
It all makes sense considering God's amazing grace, and even more if you remember one other thing.
For some reason some people believe that the above messages about marriage indicate that if you do not fall into the category of "marriage lived according to God's law and the new and everlasting covenant, and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise" you won't be together, even if you still are both good friends, or love each other, and both might wish to continue your good relationship.
But that can't be correct, simply because we are also told that "the same sociality that exists among us here [earth life], will exist among us there [post-earth life] only it will be accompanied by eternal glory" Doctrine and Covenants 130:2. And, according to Doctrine and Covenants 76: 70-81) eternal glory, its various degrees, comes with resurrection. (Doctrine and Covenants 76:70-81)
If this is true, then the experience of judgment and resurrection (the latter of which is always accompanied by eternal glory of various types) does not create forced loss of "sociality". We are still free to choose to connect with those we love to spend time with (and who enjoy it too).
(Heavenly angels appearing to mere mortal earthly types is just one example of many that belies that false assumption of imposed separation between God's children who are at various stages of righteousness or wickedness or glory in their eternal existence.)