"The New and Everlasting Covenant" and "The New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage"

"The new and everlasting covenant" is composed of "all covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows performances, connections association or expectations" [1] that God invites his children to enter into by the Holy Spirit (ie: ratified as in effect by the Holy Ghost)[3].  These covenants referred to are entered into in conjunction with God's authority and power.  

The new and everlasting covenant is also called "the fullness of the gospel"[4] in part, I believe, because it reminds us that we are ultimately called to enter into a complete (full) commitment/covenant to incorporate every part of Jesus's gospel into our lives, covenanting ourselves to being fully united with God; to take upon ourselves the name of Christ.

 

The new and everlasting covenant includes, therefore, all covenants that we make to more fully live the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Those covenants include covenants we make at baptism, during the sacrament, when we marry, when we receive priesthood ordination or priesthood power, etc.

 

"The new and everlasting covenant of marriage" is the gospel marriage covenant, made in conjunction with God's authority and power, and made between God and two of his children who are in, or who are entering into, a marriage.[5]  It involves a man and a woman giving themselves to each other to be husband and wife in a holy marriage[6] and, like every covenant, each of them, individually, solemnly makes a covenant to the Lord that they will be faithful to the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ in their marriage; loving and caring for each other. [7] 

This covenant also involves a covenant and a promise, on God's part, to seal upon those individuals, certain, specific, heavenly blessings and power to act in godly ways, pronounced by someone who has been given God's power to do so,[8]which, covenant "in the process of time"[9]  may "sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise".[10]  They are reminded that the efficacy of the sealing of those blessings and power to act is dependent upon their faithfulness to the Lord.  And none of those blessings say anything about people being "sealed to each other".  Specific blessings are sealed upon them dependent upon their faithfulness. Being "sealed to each other" is not one of those blessings. 

 

In the temple marriage ceremony what is sealed is the promise of blessings upon each of the two individuals involved, both the husband and the wife, with counsel that their receiving those blessings, individually, depends upon their respective faithfulness to the Lord, and their living the principles of His gospel throughout their lives.   This is not an ordinance that is focused on who lives with whom.  It is an ordinance that invites us, as individuals, to live holy lives in our relationships, and to be prepared, therefore, to receive the grace and glory that God hopes we will embrace with joy.  This is a classic gospel covenant pattern.

 

Contrary to Latter-day Saint vernacular and happy but theologically sloppy Primary songs, and even the occasional misuse of the phrase in church manuals, a husband and wife are not "sealed to each other" in the temple.   Rather, each individual enters into a "new and everlasting covenant of marriage" before God, promising to God that each will, individually, seek to create a holy marriage; a marriage upon a full commitment to the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  They are also pronounced married and in a marriage relationship that may (if they individually keep the covenants into which they have entered)[11] last beyond this life.[12] and divine blessings are conditionally "sealed" upon them[13] dependent upon their individual faithfulness to the commitment they have made.  Again this is a classic gospel covenant pattern.

 

Temple marriage "sealings', in other words the things that are actually sealed in a marriage in a temple, are not sealings (bindings, tying, gluing eternally into the same celestial relationship) of two people to each other.  Temple marriage sealings are actually provisional sealings of specific future blessings upon individuals who have made specific promises to God to live a holy life in their marriage.[14]

 

The blessings that are sealed upon them are dependent upon their individual faithful keeping of their promise to live by the word of God in their marriage thoughout their lives and beyond.[15]  Those blessings are blessings that, like the blessings of other holy covenants, are ones connected to and are a result of one's efforts to live a holy, or celestial, life.[16]

  

We are not "family groups" to God (though He does delight in a good and loving family).  We are, first and foremost, His individual, beloved children.

---

[1]Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith p.165.

[2] Doctrine and Covenants 1:15-16, 22-23

[3] Smith Joseph F, Doctrines of Salvation, 2:46

[4] Doctrine and Covenants 66:2

[5] Doctrine and Covenants 132:9

[6] Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/preparing-to-enter-the-holy-temple/preparing-to-enter-the-holy-temple?lang=eng

[7] True to the Faith p. 171, The Family a Proclamation to the World

[8] Doctrine and Covenants 132:19

[9] Moses 7:21, Bednar, David A.,  Ensign, May 2007, p. 22

[10] Doctrine and Covenants 76:51-53, Smith, ibid. 2:94-95, Bednar, David A, Ensign, May 2007 p.22

[11] Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-42, 

[12] Lee, Harold B. Stand Ye in Holy Places, p.53

[13] Doctrine and Covenants 132:19-20

[14] Cofford, Kree-L, "Marriage in the Lord's Way, Part 1", Ensign June 1998

[15] Smith, ibid. 2:46,  Doctrine and Covenants 132:21

[16] Doctrine and Covenants sections 121, 76, and 132

Fear, Impatience, and Thinking That Simply Performing Ordinances Is What You Need to Get God to Assist You 1st Samuel 13:8

 Before battle, ancient Israelites were counseled to offer sacrifices to God, seeking His help and blessing in the coming fight.  Those sacrifices were under the direction of men set apart by God to oversee them, as  directed by the Lord.

Saul found himself preparing for battle against the Philistines in Gilgal following Jonathan’s attack on their garrison at Geba.  The huge army gathered by the Philistines was (vs. 5) was frightening to behold, and Saul’s soldiers began to hunker down in defensive positions or desert all-together (vs. 5-6).

Samuel, the prophet called to express God's will to Saul and all his people, had told Saul to wait 7 full days, and that he (Samuel) would be there to for that rite of sacrifice at the end of that period.

It must have been excruciating for Saul to watch his outnumbered army increase in fear and decrease in numbers as they awaited the arrival of Samuel.  Every day he waited made their situation look worse.

So he gave up waiting and went ahead and offered the sacrifices himself.  It seems to indicate that for him, paying attention to God and making acting under His direction for timing and place…working with Him and drawing nearer to Him that process, was not what was important.  Instead it was simply the ritual of sacrifice, by itself,  that He believed would bring God’s blessing upon his effort and solve his mounting challenges.

He was reducing what should have created an experience of divine connection and guidance into an experience that simply went through a ritual in order to get something he felt he desperately needed.

Samuel’s famous sentence, “Obedience is greater than sacrifice” is not so much a lauding of the principle of obedience, as it is a reminder, when we engage in religious rites, to truly engage with God, receiving  direction from Him about how, when, where , who etc. and recommitting ourselves to Him and opening our hearts to further connection and instruction as we do so  (a foundational principle of holy obedience).  The rite (in this case sacrifice, but it could be applied to any other religious rite) itself is not what is most important.  It is humility before God and desire to seek Him and learn from Him and follow His counsel that is the vital part of any such outward form of worship or covenant making.

When we reduce God to a hander out of favors that we merit through rites (or ceremonies or rituals or performances) rather than discovering the communing with Him that comes as we seek His will and understanding about those rites and during  those rites,  and seeking to trust and obey His will  in that, and  in all other things on an ongoing  basis.

“Obedience is  greater than sacrifice”  is, in essence,  “Seeking to do God’s will and working with God as you engage in ordinances and rites and rituals (animal sacrifice in this case) is of far  greater importance and value to you, and connects you with God in far more blessedly, than simply participating in or carrying out those ordinances, rites  and rituals”.

Overlooking Weaknesses

“I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion.  That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes.” 

Gordon B. Hinckley, Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley (1997), 325.

My faith is placed upon Jesus Christ

      “Brigham Young...said 'My faith is not placed upon the Lord’s working upon the islands of the sea, upon his bringing the people here, … nor upon the favors he bestows upon this people or upon that people, neither upon whether we are blessed or not blessed, but my faith is placed upon the Lord Jesus Christ, and my knowledge I have received from him.' (Brigham Young, "Instructions", Deseret News, Nov. 21, 1855)

     "Our repentance and obedience, our service and sacrifices do matter. We want to be among those described by Ether as “always abounding in good works." (Ether 12:4) But it is not...because of some tally kept in celestial account books. These things matter because they engage us in God’s work and are the means by which we collaborate with Him in our own transformation from natural man to saint. (Mosiah 3:19) What our Heavenly Father offers us is Himself and His Son, a close and enduring relationship with Them through the grace and mediation of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer.

From "Our Relationship with God", D. Todd Christofferson, April 2022

It is not true that when the prophet speaks the thinking has been done.

Some critics of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints express belief that that church expects unquestioning responses to statements by church leaders. A quote which they choose to offer in support of this misconception is that ‘when the prophet speaks, the thinking is done.’ This statement originally appeared in the Improvement Era, in June 1945, as the Ward Teaching message for the month. The entire paragraph of that article that contains that phrase was

"When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan–it is God’s plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give direction, it should mark the end of controversy. God works in no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God"

Dr. J. Raymond Cope, the leader of the First Unitarian Society in Salt Lake City, was one individual who read that article in 1945 and was concerned. He decided to express his concerns about the impact of this message in a letter to President George Albert Smith in November of the same year. The letter was cordial, and expressed the feeling that such a message was “doing inestimable harm to many who have no other reason to question the integrity of the Church leaders… this cannot be the position of the true leaders.”

President Smith responded to Dr. Cope with a letter of his own, designed to clarify the point, at the first of December. The letter, reproduced in full below, should lay to rest any misconception about whether the Church or its leaders expect blind obedience in any degree. (Items that are underlined were underlined in the original.)

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Office of the First Presidency

Salt Lake City, Utah

December 7, 1945

Dr. J. Raymond Cope

First Unitarian Society

13th East at 6th South Street

Salt Lake City, Utah

 

My dear Dr. Cope:

I have read with interest and deep concern your letter of November 16, 1945, in which you make special comment on “a short religious editorial prepared by one of your (our) leaders entitled “Sustaining the General Authorities of the Church'”. You say that you read the message with amazement, and that you have since been disturbed because of its effect upon members of the Church.

I am gratified with the spirit of friendliness that pervades your letter, and thank you for having taken the time to write to me.

The leaflet to which you refer, and from which you quote in your letter, was not “prepared” by “one of our leaders.” However, one or more of them inadvertently permitted the paragraph to pass uncensored. By their so doing, not a few members of the Church have been upset in their feelings, and General Authorities have been embarrassed.

I am pleased to assure you that you are right in your attitude that the passage quoted does not express the true position of the Church. Even to imply that members of the Church are not to do their own thinking is grossly to misrepresent the true ideal of the Church, which is that every individual must obtain for himself a testimony of the truth of the Gospel, must, through the redemption of Jesus Christ, work out his own salvation, and is personally responsible to His Maker for his individual acts. The Lord Himself does not attempt coercion in His desire and effort to give peace and salvation to His children. He gives the principles of life and true progress, but leaves every person free to choose or to reject His teachings. This plan the Authorities of the Church try to follow.

The Prophet Joseph Smith once said: “I want liberty of thinking and believing as I please.” This liberty he and his successors in the leadership of the Church have granted to every other member thereof.

On one occasion in answer to the question by a prominent visitor how he governed his people, the Prophet answered: “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.”

Again, as recorded in the History of the Church (Volume 5, page 498 [499] Joseph Smith said further: “If I esteem mankind to be in error, shall I bear them down? No. I will lift them up, and in their own way too, if I cannot persuade them my way is better; and I will not seek to compel any man to believe as I do, only by the force of reasoning, for truth will cut its own way.”

I cite these few quotations, from many that might be given, merely to confirm your good and true opinion that the Church gives to every man his free agency, and admonishes him always to use the reason and good judgment with which God has blessed him.

In the advocacy of this principle leaders of the Church not only join congregations in singing but quote frequently the following:

“Know this, that every soul is free

To choose his life and what he’ll be,

For this eternal truth is given

That God will force no man to heaven.”

Again I thank you for your manifest friendliness and for your expressed willingness to cooperate in every way to establish good will and harmony among the people with whom we are jointly laboring to bring brotherhood and tolerance.

Faithfully yours,

Geo. Albert Smith [signed]

In a nutshell, that sentiment of 

"When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan–it is God’s plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give direction, it should mark the end of controversy. God works in no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God"

Is definitely NOT a gospel truth nor is it supported as such by the church.

This letter from George Albert Smith can be found in the George A. Smith Papers (Manuscript no. 36, Box 63-8A), Special Collections, Marriott Library, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah. More detailed information on this topic can be found in Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 19:1 (Spring 1986), 35-39.

You can find a transcription of that 1945 misguided Improvement Era magazine article here: https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/archive/publications/when-the-prophet-speaks-is-the-thinking-done

Why meditation?

 In our current society it seems that the Adversary majors in five things: noise, hurry, crowds, distractions and indignation.  And he seeks to keep us engaged in those.

One thing the Adversary really doesn’t like is the practice of meditation or contemplation.

In the Bible two different Hebrew words are used to convey the idea of meditation and have various meanings: listening to God’s word, reflecting on God’s works, remembering God’s deeds, contemplating on God’s laws, etc.  And in each case there is emphasis on how one’s behavior changes as a result of the increased or renewed comprehension of God and His work in our lives.  

That kind of meditation almost always leads to the incorporation of repentance, increased comprehension, and/or renewed commitment into our lives.

My meditation, as a disciple of Christ is, very simply, designed to increase my ability to hear God’s voice in my life, to experience fellowship with God, to learn God’s perspective of love and light and truth, and to incorporate what I learn from that meditation into my life and into my interaction with others.

Consciously taking the time for it is something I need to do more.

Gods (plural) in Abraham, chapter 4

 When I much was younger, I remember hearing all kinds of conjectures, all rather highly speculative and creative, about why that noun was plural in chapter 4.

The most reasonable explanation to me is this:  

Chapter 3 uses “the Lord” to refer to God.  Singular.  And describes His outlining of his plans to “the intelligences that were organized before the world was”.

At the end of chapter 3, the Lord asks who he should “send”, two volunteer, and the Lord chooses the first one, the one who, on earth, will be known as Jesus.

And then, as the creation starts, the use of plural, begins.  Why? Because now there are two involved in the creation of the world: The Father and that first one: the Son.

Why do I think that is the answer to the question about why plural appears here?  

Consider the opening verses of the Book of John, which speak of Jesus Christ’s intimate involvement in the creation of the world.  

Consider Jesus’ words later, in chapter 5 of the Book of John: “ Verily, truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does, the Son also does.”

And consider of the meaning of “Immanuel” by which name Jesus was called by both Isaiah and Matthew; “God with us.”

The God the Father and God the Son were working together in the creation outlined in Abraham chapter 4.  Plural.

I think that the reason for that plural is just that simple.

Talmadge on the topic of Hell and post mortal experience

 Traditional ideas about hell (and also purgatory) are all about punishment for sin, a punishment that God inflicts, and which punishment creates suffering.*   However, that is an earthly concept of the nature of authoritative response to sin or bad behavior.   We know that God is not earthly, He is heavenly, and though He may become angry when we indulge in destructive and/or heard-hearted sin, He is not vindictive. Vindictive behavior is contrary to the very nature of heaven.   In reality, the suffering in "hell" is not God-inflicted, it is the natural, logical consequences of sin.

 

Sin in our lives, for which we are unrepentant, does cause us to experience suffering whether we currently are in this life or in the next.  Sometimes it is the suffering of remorse when we recognize our sin.  Sometimes it is the suffering of the natural consequences of that sin.  Sometimes it is the suffering that comes when justice is meted out.   And all of those kinds of suffering are what is referred to when we speak of suffering for sin in the life after this one, as well as in this life.

 

It is important to remember that each of those different kinds of suffering ultimately causes us to experience enough distress to make us reconsider what we have done, what the consequences have been, and whether we wish to continue embracing our sin, or instead, repent and change, look to Christ, embrace the gift of His atonement, and live.

 

Sometimes our recognition of sin is quick and so our repentance is quick, and our embracing of the atonement of Christ is quick, and the release from suffering comes soon. Sometimes our learning to recognize sin is quick but our wanting to repent is slow, and so we delay our repentance and our embracing of the atonement of Christ.  And sometimes our learning to recognize our sins is slow, and so our repentance is delayed.  In the latter two cases, the suffering continues longer.  But always, in this life, and the next, whether the process of learning to recognize, repent and embrace Christ and his atonement for us is quick or slow, God the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ are always reaching out to us to help us turn our hearts to repentance and to them, and to their rest.

 

And everyone of us will eventually come to understand that about them, and decide if we wish to continue as we are, or repent, and embrace the Atonement that Jesus offers us, to end our suffering that comes from our sins.  He can provide that because He made Atonement for our sins on our behalf. And all of us will understand that offer (Romans 14:11) and decide whether or not to repent.

 

So what does that mean for us if we have committed sin in this life for which we have not been able to repent, and we find ourselves in the next life, experiencing the suffering we have brought upon ourselves because of our sin?   (This is what is commonly referred to experiencing hell or spirit prison)

 

In reference to that: James E. Talmadge wrote: "During this hundred years (since the Restoration of the Church) many other great truths not known before, have been declared to the people, and one of the greatest is that to hell there is an exit as well as an entrance. Hell is no place to which a vindictive judge sends prisoners to suffer and to be punished principally for his glory; but it is a place prepared for the teaching, the disciplining of those who failed to learn here upon the earth what they should have learned. True, we read of everlasting punishment, unending suffering, eternal damnation. That is a direful expression; but in his mercy the Lord has made plain what those words mean. “Eternal punishment,” he says, is God’s punishment, for he is eternal; and that condition or state or possibility will ever exist for the sinner who deserves and really needs such condemnation; but this does not mean that the individual sufferer or sinner is to be eternally and everlastingly made to endure and suffer. No man will be kept in hell longer than is necessary to bring him to a fitness for something better. When he reaches that stage the prison doors will open and there will be rejoicing among the hosts who welcome him into a better state. The Lord has not abated in the least what he has said in earlier dispensations concerning the operation of his law and his gospel, but he has made clear unto us his goodness and mercy through it all, for it is his glory and his work to bring about the immortality and eternal life of man."

Elder James E. Talmage, Conference Report, April 1930, 

See also 2 Nephi 26:24

 

We cannot atone for our own sins, no matter how much we suffer.  In contrast, the Atonement of Christ "begins to work the day you ask" and will "[restore} what you cannot restore, [heal] the wound you cannot heal, [and fix] that which you broke and you cannot fix".    

Boyd K. Packer, "Washed Clean", Ensign May 1997, p.9

                            "The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness", Ensign, November 1995, p.18

 

This promise of release from the suffering that our sins have brought upon us (and upon others) is made possible through the atonement of Christ. It is a promise to each of us, whether we are recognizing our mistakes and sins in this life or the next.

 

Whether in this life, or the next, as we turn to Him, sorrowful over what we have done, changing our hearts and actions, and seeking forgiveness and release, we find the promised relief, hope, love, peace and vision which his atoning sacrifice makes possible for us.

 

That is one of the reasons He came.  That is one of the ways he saves us.

* For an interesting history of the Christian tradition of purgatory: click here.

God and Anger

 "God’s anger is at one with his love, helpful, healing, restoring; yet is it verily and truly what we call anger. How different is the anger of one who loves, from that of one who hates! There is the degraded, human anger, and the grand, noble, eternal anger. It is to me an especially glad thought that the Lord came so near us as to be angry with us..."

--George MacDonald, Unspoken Sermons

Sealing and Binding, Doctrine and Covenants 128:14

 Today I was reading through section 128 and noted the "whatsoever ye shall bind on earth" verse (8) which also shows up in sections 127 and 132.

But what particularly caught my attention was verse 14, which talks about "the sealing and binding" power, and "in one sense of the word, the keys (plural) of the kingdom".

I think that we tend to assume that sealing and binding are synonyms.

However, as I've been studying this a bit, I think that sealing and binding are actually two different elements of the kingdom of God.  

 

"Sealing" and "seal", does show up consistently, in both the New Testament and in the Doctrine and Covenants.  In the New Testament, the Greek word used means "authenticized" and "established and recognized by one person/entity and to be used only as that person/entity directs".   For example, when the stone was rolled in front of the sepulchre and "sealed", it wasn't cemented shut...the verb used indicates that a Roman seal was placed upon it, likely wrapping a rope around the stone and then sealing the rope to the adjacent wall, to show that it was not to be opened without Pilate's approval.  (Rolling the stone away would break the seal).

Sealing

Doctrine and Covenants sections on baptism for the dead talk about "sealing", particularly the importance of recording...a form of establishing the authenticity of the ordinance.  Baptism does not establish a relationship between mortals. Clearly, here, sealing is not a form of establishing such relationships, it is a word used to describe clearly whose work this is...having the ordinance sealed, or given the "seal or stamp of authenticity and directive" by God, recognizing that He is the one who determines how it should be used by the recipient.   

In temple marriages we are not sealed together, but when you listen to the words, you discover that blessings are sealed upon the individuals who are being married, ie., blessings are pronounced and made authentic by God if/as we abide by His directives/commandments about how we are to engage in this new covenant we are taking on. 

 If we engage in marriage in ways that are opposed to what he has directed....not only do we fail to receive blessings we might otherwise have received, but we also ultimately lose His approval/authorization of that marriage.   

Binding

Various forms of the verb "to bind", or the adjective "bound" also show up in various verses in scripture.  Going through the verses where it shows up in the Doctrine and Covenants I find that it means

• our obligation to keep the covenants we have made
  
• God's obligation to keep His covenants with us when we keep ours with Him
  
• the limits placed on Satan during the Millennium
  
• the unity that comes when people make and keep covenants with each other
  
• to obligate someone to act against his/her conscience
  
• obligation to sustain government
  
• obligation that rulers have to enact laws to protect citizens
  
• a state of being prevented from doing something due to one's previous choices
  

If I am on track, then the "whatsoever ye shall bind...whatsoever ye shall loose" scripture is referring, most likely, to the establishment of obligations and responsibilities, and the disestablishment of obligations and responsibilities between us and God, or between us and God and other individuals.

So, how does that apply to the various covenants we make?

As for binding and loosing covenants, per the bulleted list above....Binding, (the taking on of obligations/promises) comes as individuals make authentic, authorized covenants with God (baptism, priesthood, endowment, marriage) and loosing covenants (the extrication from those obligations and promises) comes as we choose not to fulfill those obligations and God no longer is obligated to provide the blessings that would have come if we had been working to keep them.

For some people, this extrication involves some church action in this life.  For others, it will happen without that official church action in this life.

So..."sealed" means the ordinance is recognized as being authentic and under the authority of God and binding means the taking on and living of covenants as part of that ordinance.

               (side note:  *an ordinance being authorized or ratified by the Holy Spirit, aka. the Holy Spirit of Promise, is a point for further discussion and is different from being "authentic" or from being authorized by a church leader---you might fool people, but if you are entering into a covenant and you have no desire or will to fulfill it and have been dishonest in your efforts to enter it, it you might fool other people, but can't fool the Holy Spirit and the ordinance doesn't count in heaven.  But I digress.)

Finally...what about children being sealed to parents?   That wording is used in the temple.  But...it is given with a huge extra blessing....   The parentage is recognized/authorized by God, (of course...it's His plan of salvation that put them there) but that sealing blessing is given with the blessing of the full and complete healing offered through the atonement of Christ...so in essence, they are authorized/recognized as children in that family "as if they had been born in the new and everlasting covenant".

Now...the new and everlasting covenant is, as you know, not just the marriage in the temple.  The new and everlasting covenant is different from the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. The new and everlasting covenant is the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  In other words, the blessing pronounced upon those children is that it will be, for them, ultimately, as if their parents had lived as Jesus taught and teaches us to live (or at least were seriously trying to and making progress).

So, in essence...the children are sealed to parents with the promise of the atonement of Christ....healed from every pain or suffering they have experienced due to the sins, wickedness, foolishness, horrible behavior, stupid mistakes, etc. of their parents, and blessed with every opportunity and kindness that they missed.

That is, in my opinion, HUGE.  We need to recognize that more.

Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

 Read today:

”It is not like a child that I believe in Christ and profess faith in Him, but rather my hosanna has come through the great crucible of doubt.” ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky

1880-1881 Notebooks, draft of a letter to K. D. Kavelin, in reference to “The Brothers Karamozov”

The Unpublished Dostoevsky, Volume 3, p. 175

Cheering On and Rejoicing from Afar

There have been some videos posted online during this Olympics week that have been fun for me to watch.  

I have enjoyed watching snatches of videos of athletes competing in Tokyo, but what I have enjoyed even more, is watching their families and friends cheer them on from afar.

You can watch and listen to them as they watch during a couple of the recent swim races as well as when the final touch at the side of the pool happens

 Listen to, and catch a glimpse of Ahmed Hafnaoui's family in Tunisia here:  

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/olympics/ahmed-hafnaoui-s-family-watching-him-win-gold-is-the-best-moment-of-the-olympics-so-far/ar-AAMAeZN

Lydia Jacoby's family and friends in Alaska here:  

https://fb.watch/v/1Xiacdpqq/

(I am sure that there are hundreds of other groups of family and friends that have or will respond similarly as they watch children and friends that they love... we just happen to only get a glimpse of the families of two gold medal winners...our world tends to focus just on those...)

Any loving parent (we are not including parents who are focused on winning and their child performing exceptionally and/or better than others instead of focusing on loving support) will recognized the joy that comes to us just watching our children engaged in efforts to become better at something and learning and growing and making progress, however great or small, in that process.  

As I watched the interest, support and rejoicing (which I have seen good parents do as they rejoice in their children, of all ages, who are engaged in trying to do something that they are learning how to do, regardless of the level of "performance" attained) I remembered the statement Jesus made after the parable of the poor widow who searches and searches and searches and finally finds the coin she had lost, and then rejoices with her neighbors (who apparently were aware of and concerned as well and likely were encouraging her and then relieved and happy for her) over that find :

"Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repents."

Though I don't think there is any evidence that the angels act specifically the way that those family members and friends in Tunisia and Alaska did, but I have a feeling that the level of cheering on and celebration is at least that high as we engage in our life journeys and work with the Lord in the process of repentance as we embrace His atonement and do become free from a sin that besets us.

Enjoy catching an earthly variation of that cheering on and rejoicing.

Children and Praise, Some Good Advice

 Raising Children in Ways That Help Them Become Confident and Mentally Strong

Published Thu, Jul 15 202112:03 PM EDTUpdated Thu, Jul 15 20214:18 PM EDT

 

Jessica VanderWier, Contributor

 

As parents, we want our kids to feel good about themselves, so we try to praise them as much as possible.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Research shows that there are benefits to praising kids. A simple compliment can generate self-worth and pride. However, it depends on what kind of praise we give, as well as when and how frequently.

 

As a psychotherapist who works with parents and children, I’ve seen over and over again the negative effects of overpraising a child’s talent or outcome (“This looks amazing!” “You’re so handsome!” “Good job!”).

But these short, exaggerated reactions can cause kids to only focus on things that may harm their self-esteem. They might feel performance anxiety (“If I get this answer wrong, I am dumb”), for example, or believe that they are only appreciated for their appearance (“What if people think I look weird in this shirt? Then they won’t love me”).

So should you praise your kids at all? Of course. But there are right and wrong ways to give praise. Here’s what parents of confident, self-motivated and mentally strong kids always do:

 

1. They praise the process

When you praise the process (e.g., the kid putting effort into a math assignment), instead of the talent or outcome (e.g., the kid’s natural ability to solve math problems quickly), kids are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward future challenges.

In the 1990s, Carol S. Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford’s Graduate School of Education, studied the effects of these types of praises. In one experiment, a group of children was told they were successful because they were smart, while the second group was told they were successful because they worked hard.

When the two groups were given a variety of puzzles, children in the second group were more likely to choose a harder puzzle. Dweck also found that praising the process made them more likely to feel confident in a task even if they made a mistake.

 

2. They never make it a competition

Parents love to compare — we can’t help it! And sometimes, we’ll even tell our kids that they’re better than others (“You scored more goals than all your teammates combined!”).

Often, it’s done with good intentions. We want them to feel as proud as we do, and to be motivated to do even better the next time ... but for all the wrong reasons.

It’s not healthy to be trapped in a vicious cycle of competition. Social comparisons can teach kids to always measure success based on the outcomes of other people.

Even worse, according to research, giving kids praise in terms of comparison, in some cases, can cultivate narcissism, attention-seeking behavior and a lack of teamwork values.

The better approach? Encourage them to compare their past efforts with their present efforts, rather than with other people. This gets them into the habit of shifting their goals away from being better than everyone else and toward self-improvement.

 

3. They use observational language

Instead of saying, “That’s so good!”, you may want to say, “I love the colors in your painting. Tell me more about why you chose them.” (This is what it means to praise the process.)

Another example: Instead of saying, “You looked like a pro riding that bike!,” parents of motivated kids might say something like, “You were so careful and focused while riding your bike. Even when you wobbled a bit and almost fell off, you kept going! That was cool to watch.”

These simple language tweaks can help your kids feel proud of themselves for putting effort into something. It can also make them more excited to take on more challenging things in the future.

Lastly, it’s important to create an environment of emotional safety. If your child failed a spelling test, refrain from telling them they should have studied harder. Instead, ask them what they think they can do to improve next time.

Kids need to know that they can come to their parents not just when they have done something well, but also when they are struggling with a specific task or challenge, and that they will be met with helpful, healthy appreciation and welcome.

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https://www.cnbc.com/2021/07/15/a-psychotherapist-shares-how-parents-of-confident-and-mentally-strong-kids-praise-their-children.html

Forgiveness, a look at the Greek

Below is an answer to a question I posed on the 100 Hour Board years ago, about meanings of the words translated as "forgive" in three passages in the New Testament.  Since the Board is ending soon, I have cut and pasted it below for future reference. 

The author and person for whom I am indebted for this information was a person whose used the pen name "St. Jerome"

For the benefit of our readers I have reproduced the verse in question.

Matthew 6:12 and 14: "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:"

The words in Matthew 6 (apheys, apheykamen, and aphete) all derive from the same root word, aphieymi, which is a combination of the preposition apo- meaning "away," and hiemi meaning "to go." The whole word, aphieymi, therefore means "to send away or discharge." In this sense, it has the meaning of "let go" or "set free." However, it also has a legal sense of "to release from a debt or an obligation." In this passage, as with many of the passages in the New Testament, older legal terminology has been co-opted into a newer religious terminology. So, when we ask the Lord to "forgive our debts," we are using legal terminology.  

Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God 

for Christ́’s sake hath forgiven you."

The words in Ephesians both come from chariskomai, which is a middle form of the word charis. This

 is one of those great and important words. It forms the root for our own English words charity and charisma.  Charis is translated in other places in the New Testament as "grace." It also has the sense of "to give a favor or grant a boon." The word in Ephesians are in the middle voice, something which English doesn't really have. Essentially, the middle voice are words that carry a reciprocal meaning or "for oneself." Not in a selfish sense, but in a linguistic sense. So, chariskomaimeans something to the effect "to show favor, for oneself." Perhaps to retain the sense of charis we could translate the 

passage in Ephesians as "be gracious one to another."

Luke 6:37 "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:"

The words in Luke are various forms of apoluo which means "to let loose, or free from apo- "away" again and luo "to release." This is again a legal term. It can in certain cases have the meaning of "acquit" or "to absolve of charges." It can also mean "to ransom or redeem." Once again here we 

have a legal usage, which the Christian authors used in a religious sense. 

Treat the place where you live as if you intend to live there and to make it better for a very long time.

 "I  consecrate unto them this land for a little season until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise, and command them to go hence;  And the hour and he day is not given unto them, wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, an this shall turn unto them for their good."

Doctrine and Covenants 51:16

My church calling

Though it may seem so at first glance, my church calling is not to serve as organizer, director, manager, mentor or teacher.  

My calling is to minister individually and, occasionally, collectively.  

And it is to be available, Christ being the example.

And as an essential part of that, I am instructed to receive and follow the promptings of divine revelation that will help me to be of help to those whom I am called to serve, and help me to be an extension of divine love.

The purpose of the gospel of Jesus Christ is not to make it possible for you to “be happy”.

We equate heaven with happiness,  and we equate living the gospel of Jesus Christ with happiness.   

Certainly, living in the presence of God, when all is said and done, is a state of light and love. And surely, our lives, when we understand and live His gospel, are better in terms of inner peace and moments of joy than when we don’t understand it or live it.  But the purpose or result of the gospel of Jesus Christ is definitely not to make you happy every day as you work with Him.  If we believe that happiness to supposed to be the ongoing, predictable result of our earnest discipleship we will be disappointed, because, frankly, it isn’t.

Witness:

Jesus was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” and suffered hunger, thirst, fatigue, temptations and pain. (a)

Ammon was “depressed” in spirit and “suffered many things”. (b)

Alma was “weighed down with sorrow”. (c)

Nephi was “much cast down”. (d)

Paul experienced “distress” and “anguish of heart”. (e)

The purpose of the gospel of Jesus is not to make us happy now and every day (though there are moments of happiness in discipleship).  The purpose of the gospel in this life, and beyond, is to change us from a natural man or woman to a saint. (f)

And that change is unlikely if we do not have the opportunity to become people who respond with faith in Christ and love of God, repentance, and openhearted charity towards others, even while simultaneously experiencing all of the above feelings and challenges as we engage in the work of disciples of Christ.

References:  

a. Isaiah 53:3, Mosiah 3:7, Mosiah 14:3

b. Alma 26:27, Mosiah 7:16

c. Alma 8:14

d. Helaman 10:3

e. 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10, 1st Corinthians 2:4

f. Mosiah 3:19

The purpose of the set up...

The purpose of sacrament meeting is to worship the Father and the Son and renew our covenants with them.  If we do not speak of them, and just speak only of their commandments or of the church without reference to them, or if we speak of of our experience with their commandments without reference to our experience of seeking Them, in the talks we give there, we have failed.  Our speech here is to worship them, to speak of them, to renew covenants with them, and to rejoice in their hand in our lives as we  seek to be their disciples and follow them.

The purpose of our Relief Society, Priesthood Quorums, Young Women classes and Primary classes are to turn our hearts to the Father and the Son and to empower us to work more lovingly, more wisely, more unitedly, with greater vision, with less anxiety and self-doubt, with more confidence, and with greater focus, with them, in their work of blessing and assisting and lifting all of his children.

Our ministry, that which we accept by invitation, as well as that which we do as we care for and interact with family members, and that which we do free-lance by inspiration, is a God-given opportunity to get farther out of our comfort zones (2 Ne. all is well in Zion) and work more carefully with the Father and the Son and with each other to do and be and understand who the Father sent us here to learn to do, and be, and understand.

Feed my sheep.  What does that mean?   To minister...to be aware of....to love, wisely,  in spite of their, and our, sins and flaws and imperfection

In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these...Matthew 25:31-40.

Who are the sheep the Father has given to me?
Have I made holy promises to someone before God?  That is one of the sheep He wants me to feed in my interactions with him or her.   Has the Father ever sent children to my family (nuclear or extended)?  Those are some of the sheep He wants me to feed in my interactions with them.  Have I accepted an invitation to be a ministering brother or ministering sister to members of my ward?  Those are some of the sheep He wants me to feed in my interactions with them.  Are there people in need in my neighborhood or community?  Those are some of the sheep He wants me to feed in my interactions with them.

Frankly, that sounds absolutely overwhelming and impossible at first glance.  But notice that Jesus did not say “for I had problems and difficulties and you made it so that they were all solved and I became everything you hoped I would become”,  but He did say, “feed”, which is to “love” and to “nourish and strengthen” to use a familiar church phrase in our interactions with them.

Some of the sheep the Father has given us to care for we see and speak to as a matter of course every day.  So it’s easier, once we understand His hope that we will love, nourish and strengthen them, for us to find time to do that.

Others of the sheep that the Father has given us to care for we will never see or speak to unless we actually, purposefully, make the time to do that.  And many of us are afraid, or too overwhelmed, or shy, or feel too lonely, or we love our little kingdoms too much to leave them.  Or we tend to expect that we are incapable,  or that the sheep is trying to avoid us.  And so we don’t make time to care for them.  Or if we attempt to do so, we feel totally inadequate and discouraged and feel guilty and unhappy.

That’s normal.  It’s also one of the reasons why we meet together each week: so that we can encourage, empower, and assist each other to overcome that discouragement, resistance, and sense of overwhelm as we rejoice in the power of the God we worship who gives us the strength and vision we need to work together to feed His sheep.  

Being Prepared and Moving Forward, Doctrine and Covenants 38:29-35, 39-41, some main points.

 Received in 1831

Main points:

You have heard of wars going on in other countries, and you expect that there will even bigger wars between countries.  But you underestimate the results that will come from what is going on in the minds and hearts of people in your own country.

 

You have been praying, so now I will counsel you: Seek wisdom and embrace what it teaches you.  If you do so, you will be prepared for what wicked people do.  If you do not do so their actions will surprise you in awful, frightening, alarming ways, and you will be unprepared to respond.

 

If you have sought wisdom and then prepared accordingly, you will not fear.

 

Being prepared needs to include creating a community of believers and receiving an endowment of priesthood power from God.

 

It also includes going out beyond your community, following the promptings of the Holy Spirit as you interact with others.

 

And it includes caring for the poor and needy, administering to their relief, and welcoming them into the community that you have created.

 

Speaking of poverty and riches: the riches you should seek are the riches of eternity.  

 

Also, beware of pride. (Otherwise you run a good risk of becoming the kind of people that the Nephites became.)

 

And work hard to accomplish the things that the Lord has commanded you to do.

 

And, remember, when you speak of the above, or teach any other part of the gospel of Jesus Christ, to anyone, that it is essential that you do so in mildness and in meekness. 

One of the pitfalls of "loving those you serve". Doctrine and Covenants 34-37

 We sometimes hear the sentiment expressed that if you want to learn to love someone, serve that person.  And certainly, if you are a person who values the quality of being loving or of being motivated by love, that is often true.

And in most cases, that is helpful.

However, as a leader or teacher, that can create a problem, particularly in a church which values "sustaining" leaders.  If others are participating in and helping you in the church work for which you, as a leader or teacher, are responsible, and you are appreciative, the result might be that they will feel greater love for you, and be more inclined to help in the future.

So what's wrong with that?

I've been reading passages in the Doctrine and Covenants in which various individuals are called to the work of preaching and writing, joining Joseph Smith in the work of spreading the good news of the restored gospel.  Oliver Cowdery, Sidney Rigdon, Edward Partridge, etc. etc. all called to join in the work, alongside the man who had also been called and who was the one who invited and called them.

In a situation like that, in an organization that is young, and fledgling, and has, by it's resultant nature, a primary leader, the good-hearted individuals who join in the work often feel an increase of affection for and commitment to the person who leads the work and works alongside them. That's normal.

And that's the rub.  When we love the leader because we have been assisting/sustaining him or her in the work, it is very easy to see the work more as an extension of our affection for the leader, and, because we are enjoying that brotherly love, we miss the opportunity to understand that experience or create it as service to a real, present, divine Lord.  

And thus, in the magnification of and focus on the 2nd great commandment, we fail to fully experience the 1st.

I wonder if this early church experience, at a time when so much of the calling to the work was done through one man, and at a time when so much of the work involved interacting with that one man and with others who were interacting with that man, didn't create an era where those involved were highly susceptible to the experience of the work being felt as an increase of the 2nd commandment. 

And that's not bad.  Except that the 2nd commandment is the 2nd commandment.  And when my decision to engage in God's work is motivated primarily by the 2nd commandment type love that I have experienced while engaged in that work, then I cheat myself out of increasing my engagement and comprehension of the 1st.  And it is the 1st that is absolutely necessary, especially when, suddenly, you discover that your leader is less than completely loveable.

This process makes me think that I am understanding a little better the "love for Joseph Smith" that was felt by some early members of the church, which they, naturally, tended to pass on to their descendants; vestiges of which are still found in discourse within the church today, and certainly linger in our hymn book.

So I think that one of the biggest challenges a church leader or teacher has is the process of moving the focus of others onto serving, and thereby coming to love, the Lord as they work with you to try to do his work.  And one of the biggest challenges that the rest of us have, is to maintain that focus on who we are really, first and foremost, learning to serve and learning to love.