Bringing Humanity to the Gospel

In April 1932, apostle Stephen L Richards gave a conference address titled “Bringing Humanity to the Gospel.”

“I fear dictatorial dogmatism, rigidity of procedure and intolerance even more than I fear cigarettes, cards and other devices the adversary may use to nullify faith and kill religion... Fanaticism and bigotry have been the deadly enemies of true religion in the long past. … They have garbed it in black and then in white, when in truth it is neither black nor white, any more than life is black or white, for religion is life abundant, glowing life, with all its shades, colors and hues, as the children of men reflect in the patterns of their lives the radiance of the Holy Spirit in varying degrees.”

For the natural man is an enemy to God, Mosiah 3:17-21

I woke up thinking about some of the things that “so easily beset” us in general and, of course, me in particular, thwarting our personal discipleship.

When, as a teenager, I first read “For the natural man is an enemy to God...unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, full of love....” I thought about the temptations that I, personally, was most aware of amongst myself and my peers: judgmentalism, arrogance, unkindness, cliquishness, sexual promiscuity, foul language, substance abuse, dishonesty, etc.

Today I woke up mulling over the questions of what are some of the temptations that thwart some of us who have been attempting discipleship for a much longer period of time than I had been back then.  And then reviewing my own life identify some of those at play in my own daily interactions and decisions.

Some of the pitfalls that I think we face at this stage of discipleship:

Focus on screens, audio-visual media, or the printed word instead of on the people around us

Valuing efficiency more than taking careful time to accomodate requests, requirements, or others’ needs

Retreat into solitude when there is good work to be done

Self-consciousness instead of other-consciousness in formal and informal meetings

Focus on results instead of process

Measuring our worth by how well we are listened to or how insightful we are perceived to be

Giving answers more than we ask questions

Finding greater satisfaction and sense of worth in leadership than in serving in less noticed capacities

Fear

Placing our trust in financial gain

Listening to those in power or in leadership roles more than we do to those who are not

Focusing on failures in our own performance rather than on gratitude for grace

Again, the scriptural admonition to seek to become “submissive, meek, humble, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict” by coming “to a [better] knowledge of the Savior” seems like a good way for me to start making better headway against those.

Revised third verse for Hymn #19

We’ll sing the Lord’s goodness and mercy.

We’ll praise Him by day and by night,

Rejoice in His glorious gospel, 

And bask in His life-giving light.

Thus, grateful and seeking to serve Him,

The honest and faithful may go

Rejoicing and speaking His gospel, 

That all people their Savior may know.

Faith, Repentance, Baptism, the Gift of the Holy Ghost

from the Introduction to First Principles and Ordinances by Samuel M. Brown

"The principles and ordinances of the fourth article of faith are familiar to most traditional Christians. Among Latter-day Saints, though, these concepts have dramatically expanded meanings.  I believe that the first principles and ordinances are much more about relationships--among humans and between humans and [the Father, Son and Holy Ghost]--than is generally recognized  I feel that particularly in the last fifty years, many of us Latter-day Saints have tended toward traditionally American views on faith, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost.  These traditional American Protestant views have emphasized individuals over their relationships.  Faith, repentance, baptism and confirmation have sometimes been about an individual making her often lonely way toward God.  In this book I describe an approach to the first principles and ordinances of the  gospel that acknowledges the relationships that stand at the core of the gospel and the meaning of life...For each principle, emphasizing relationships transforms a familiar concept.  As markers of relationships, the elements of the fourth article of faith point toward the temple and the grand story of connection that the temple contains.  Put another way, the revelation of temple ordinances was built line upon line, precept upon precept, from the very simplest of our doctrines--the first principles and ordinances of the fourth article of faith."

I'm interested.

Grace

When I look up the word “grace” in various dictionaries, the meanings of the word are multitudinous. Sometimes a dictionary will include archaic or obsolete definitions, and one of those that comes up occasionally is “ready willingness to help”.

This relates strongly to a theological concept that was a part of early separatist (Puritan) theology in the 1600s in England.  David Clarkson (1622-1686), a well known separatist minister in England, wrote and preached and described God’s grace as a great willingness of the part of God “to do  good freely, willing to help in time of need”, going on to discuss the throne of grace and the  mercy-seat of God as description of a God full of both grace and mercy, writing “And what is  mercy but a willingness to pity and relieve? And what is grace but a willingness to do it freely, a free willingness”.

His writings were widely published and studied for the next two centuries, including during Joseph Smith’s lifetime. You can find this subject outlined in volume 3 of his works which was published by a group of Presbyterian scholars in 1865 in Edinburgh. (Works of David Clarkson, volume 3,  p. 140-141)

In the LDS Bible Dictionary, as well as in many modern Protestant glossaries, the focus of the definition of grace is on the divine means of help or strength given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ, It is portrayed as the means by which we receive divine assistance or it is portrayed as as the enabling assistance or power itself.

However, by Clarkson’s definition, what that Bible Dictionary is describing as grace is actually not grace, but rather it is the result of grace in a believer’s life. To Clarkson and others grace is God’s great willingness to extend His powerful help and strength to us.

I find that when I read the scriptures with that more obsolete definition in mind, my understanding of God takes a slight change, and I read the passages of grace reflecting more in the very nature and willingness of God to help, instead of simply the majesty and power of that help which He bestows.  It transforms my relationship with Him and my understanding of His approachability.

I think it not unlikely that Joseph Smith would have been familiar with that Clarkson/Presbyterian definition of grace as he translated the Book of Mormon, considering his various family members who had been “proselyted to the Presbyterian church” and had joined it.

And considering the huge plethora of situations outlined in the Book of Mormon where good people face very difficult and often fearful personal or community problems that they plead to God for help with, it seems fitting that this older definition and understanding of grace would be appropriate for its translation as well.

Instead of Praise to the Man

Praise to the Lord. Our Savior, Redeemer,

Praise for His love which removes our doubt and fear.

Blessed by His grace, we receive hope and mercy.

His name forever and ever revere.

Chorus:

Jesus, our Savior, Hosannah forever!

Forces of darkness will fight Him in vain.

We love His teachings, His plan of salvation,

And His atonement which heals our grief and pain.

Great is His power and endless His glory;
Son of the Father whom prophets foretold.

Blessed by His gospel, we follow our Savior.

May we be counted the sheep of His fold.

Chorus

Praise for His mercy.  He offers salvation.

Faith, hope and love are the essence of His plan.

Grateful, we join now with all who adore Him,

Speak of His gospel, and serve their fellow man.

Chorus

I have never been fond of goals

But that is likely because I do not have a very healthy relationship with them.

This week I found the following written by Leo Babauta.  I think this is good advice for me as I contemplate making that relationship more helpful and healthy.

The Usual Way of Working With Goals

The first way to work with sailing to a certain port is the traditional goal-setting way:

• You fix your sights on that port (the goal) and map a route to get there.
• But things don’t go as planned (maybe you didn’t work hard enough, got distracted, or other things came up) and now you feel discouraged.
• You can either give it up entirely, because the goal is making you feel pretty bad about yourself … or you can hold firm to the goal and resolve to do better.
• A storm hits you, then your boat starts falling apart, and you get sick during the journey. You start using your lack of progress towards you goal to beat yourself up more, feel shame, think of yourself as a failure, get frustrated with the world.
• Maybe you give up, or maybe you firmly stick with the destination and get some new resolve.
• But maybe you learn more about this destination as you travel toward it, and learn that it’s not really what you want. Maybe you find other ports that would actually be better to sail toward, that you didn’t know about before.
• Nope! You have to stick to the port you originally chose! No flexibility, the goal is the most important thing.
• Maybe (if you’re tenacious and also lucky) you get to your port. You feel a momentary happiness at your accomplishment, but this destination isn’t what you envisioned it to be. It’s not the solution to all your problems, not the joy you hoped it would be, and you feel let down.
• You immediately start thinking about your next destination, and barely notice the one you made it to.

As you can see, there are a lot of elements here that aren’t helpful:

1. Using the goal to beat yourself up and create shame, guilt, disappointment.
2. Sticking firmly to the goal even when you learn about better opportunities along the way, with no flexibility.
3. Thinking that there’s something magical about reaching the goal that will change your life in some way (rarely true).
4. The forward looking mindset (instead of looking at the present) will not end when you reach the goal, but will cause you to look toward the next goal immediately (maybe even while you’re heading toward the first goal).

So what’s a more helpful way? An intentional, conscious way of working with goals.

An Intentional Way of Working with Goals

Imagine instead that you aimed for sailing for that port … but worked with that aim in a more intentional, conscious way:

1. You think of this goal as an intention that you’re setting as you start out, a way to guide your direction in the current moment, not a fixed path.
2. You don’t think of the port (the goal) as a fixed outcome that you need to hold onto tightly, but rather just a way to guide yourself right now.
3. When you do notice yourself attached to the fantasy of your goal, you practice loosening your grip on it, and focus instead on the present moment. What action can you take right now that’s aligned with your intention?
4. Regularly check in with yourself, “What’s the most loving act I can take right now? What action right now would be aligned with my intention? What can I appreciate about this moment?”
5. Allow yourself to be flexible — if you’re not tightly attached to the goal, you can shift as you learn more, as you sail on your journey and understand the journey more, as you find new opportunities that might be more aligned with your deeper purpose.
6. If/when you do arrive at your destination, stop and be present with it, appreciating your journey, appreciating where you are, without immediately turning to the next thing.

This is a more flexible way of working with goals, and a more present-focused way of working, more intentional. The goal doesn’t become the most important thing — though it is helpful — the present moment and your actions and appreciation in the moment become the most important things.

zenhabits.net/intentionality/

FDR’s second inaugural address, 1937

Some quotes from that address that seem particularly pertinent to us now and in the coming years:

“To hold to progress today, however, is...difficult. Dulled conscience, irresponsibility, and ruthless self-interest already reappear. Such symptoms of prosperity may become portents of disaster! Prosperity already tests the persistence of our progressive purpose.”

“We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that it is bad economics. Out of the collapse of a prosperity whose builders boasted their practicality has come the conviction that in the long run economic morality pays.”

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”

“Government is competent when all who compose it work as trustees for the whole people. It can make constant progress when it keeps abreast of all the facts. It can obtain justified support and legitimate criticism when the people receive true information of all that government does.

“If I know aught of the will of our people, they will demand that these conditions of effective government shall be created and maintained. They will demand a nation uncorrupted by cancers of injustice and, therefore, strong among the nations in its example of the will to peace.”

You can find the full address at the web site below.

http://historymatters.gmu.edu/d/5105/

“...and we shall be brought to stand before God” Alma 11:43-44,45

No matter what your politics, or whom you believe, the following is true.

When we desperately hope that the actions we took and the practices we indulged in did not cause us to do something stupid and that someone might find out about them...when we we fear that our actions may have led to harm to ourselves more than we fear that they may have harmed others...when we obfuscate in order to avoid discussing the things we did that might have led, with without our intending to, to harming others or ourselves, whether or not they actually did result in harm, we are on the very human, but very slippery and soul killing slope of fear, pride, dishonesty and loss of integrity.

It takes immense courage and nobility of soul to avoid that slide and face the loss of power, the derision, the sense of shame and and the terrifying sense of personal failure that will result if we speak the full truth about ourselves.

Almost all of us are not fully capable of instinctively rising to that level of courage and honesty.  For almost all of us, our first and strongest instinct is preservation of our sense of ourselves and our actions being acceptable, or at least, excusable.

But we whether we choose to speak the truth about our stupid habits or our awful actions, or our fully consciously chosen sins now, and suffer the frightening, ominous consequences now (and experience the freedom that comes from that truth speaking as well), or not, we are guaranteed that we will be irrevocably required to fully understand the truth about all of those things and that they will be, at a completely unavoidable time, fully, and completely publicly known.

We may choose: now or later.

Those who understand the freedom to change and the freedom from fear that comes from full self-knowledge and acknowledgement of stupidity, thoughtlessness and sin will choose it sooner, in spite of the immediate and sometimes extreme pain and difficult consequences it causes to themselves and to those who hoped they were better than they are.

Those who do not will continue to add to the pile of destructive speech and actions that haunt them, consciously or subconsciously, and the obfuscations, and the misplaced hope that nothing bad resulted, until that final, guaranteed, irrevocable unveiling of the full truth and all its consequences happens.

No wonder Zeezrom trembled when he began to see.*

There are two questions that come to each of us from this truth.
Which path will we choose?
And how will we teach the rising generation?

*Alma 11:43-44, 46

Watching a perfect parent. Matthew 5:48

If God, our Father, is the model for parenting a child, it is good to consider what kind of a parent we have noticed that He is.

A father who:
answers our requests and questions,
provides watchcare over us,
helps us to overcome our challenges,
is patient with our incomplete understanding,
is willing to forgive,
responds with welcome when we turn to Him,
comforts us when we are sad,
has patience with and compassion for our weaknesses,
is ready and willing to help us,
encourages us and expresses appreciation for our imperfect efforts to do good,
is completely and compassionately honest and worthy of our trust,
gives wise guidance and parameters,
asks honest questions,
provides books that teach truth and offer thoughtful guidelines

That looks like a good list of characteristics and actions to carefully try to incorporate in my own parenting and grandparenting.

  This is one of my very favorite photos of a listening  parent. I love the look of careful attention in the adult's face.

I don't know who took it, but you can find it on this web page:

http://blog.themancompany.com/how-to-be-a-friend-to-your-kid/attachment/2219/

Reading "Annals of a Quiet Neighborhood", by George MacDonald

“I am now getting old—faster and faster. I cannot help my gray hairs, nor the wrinkles that gather so slowly yet ruthlessly; no, nor the quaver that will come in my voice, not the sense of being feeble in the knees, even when I walk only across the floor of my study. But I have not got used to age yet. I do not FEEL one atom older than I did at three-and-twenty. Nay, to tell all the truth, I feel a good deal younger.—For then I only felt that a man had to take up his cross; whereas now I feel that a man has to follow Him; and that makes an unspeakable difference.”



“I love a parson, sir. And I'll tell you for why, sir. He's got a good telescope, and he gits to the masthead, and he looks out. And he sings out, 'Land ahead!' or 'Breakers ahead!' and gives directions accordin'. Only I can't always make out what he says. But when he shuts up his spyglass, and comes down the riggin', and talks to us like one man to another, then I don't know what I should do without the parson....

“I resolved to try all I could to be the same man in the pulpit that I was out of it. Some may be inclined to say that I had better have formed the resolution to be the same man out of the pulpit that I was in it. But the one will go quite right with the other. Out of the pulpit I would be the same man I was in it—seeing and feeling the realities of the unseen; and in the pulpit I would be the same man I was out of it—taking facts as they are, and dealing with things as they show themselves in the world.”

Becoming

“I was not making much progress at all.  The problem did not lie in my objectives.  My objectives were lofty—never stooping to dishonesty, not compromising my principles, standing forward to defend the right and make corrections when things didn’t go as they should....

“The problem was that pursuing these objectives was a project too much in behalf of myself.  ...My worries about myself [and my progress] led me to slight others or use them for my purposes...

“How then shall we come unto Christ so that everything will be different from what it could possibly be otherwise?

“By sacrificing all taking of offense.
By giving up criticism, impatience and contempt, for they accuse the sisters and bothers for whom Christ died.
By forswearing vulgarity and pornography which diminish both the user and the used.
By putting aside, in short, every practice that bears the image of murder, obliteration of souls, discord, and death.
By giving these practices their true name, violence, and abhorring even their first appearance.
By renouncing war in every form and proclaiming peace. (Doc. & Cov. 98:16)

“... in the long term, and often in the short one, people respond more energetically, think more clearly, work more joyfully, and build more wisely when they put one another ahead of self;

“when they welcome the interruption brought on by another person’s need;
when they do their work in ways that enhance each other’s work;
when the forget about getting credit [from God or man or self];
when they renouce in their hearts all sense of belonging to an elite company, even a company of the brightest or best trained or the most doctrinally pure;
when they reach out to and embrace those who are violating all of those principles.

“I am here this day because of those who treated me graciously in spite of my frequently making things worse by trying aggressively to make them better when patience would have been much the wisest way.”

C. Terry Warner, “Honest, Simple, Solid, True”

“I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness,“

“God will forgive you.”

That sentence often left me perplexed.  I appreciate it when someone forgives me for something I have done that has hurt them or made their life more difficult.  I appreciate not only the forgiveness that lightens my burden but I also respect the forgiver’s unselfish, generous, or peaceful nature that allows him or her to forgive the hurt, or dismay or difficulty that I have caused in his or her life.

 But, growing up, I couldn’t fathom God being emotionally hurt, or dismayed or thwarted by my sins.  God is love.  God is justice.  God is mercy.  And he’s all about agency.  He expects us to mess up.    I mean, God is not so small that He is so focused on obedience to his commandments that he feels personally offended or hurt  when I fail to obey.  He has no ego wrapped up in our compliance with his mandates. Nor does my disobedience make his eternal life more difficult.  Certainly he loves me and cares about me, but my personal recalcitrance or failures to avoid sin do not mess up his divine existence, or thwart His work, nor cause him great anguish over my ongoing imperfection.  Our God is a God of love, not a God of anguish or unhappiness over every mistake made by each of his billions of children. (What a miserable eternal life that would be)  His stand against sin is firm, but his emotional health and well being is not tied to my exact compliance or lack thereof this week.

I believe that most of the run of the mill sins we continually make don’t make God feel personally offended or thwarted, neither do they surprise Him.  Instead his response to our everyday sins that we recognize is more along the lines of consistent encouragement to get our act together better and, with His help, change.  So, forgiveness offered by God must not mean being excused and forgiven for emotionally injuring him or disappointing him by our not yet being perfect.

Yes, I know there are Old Testament and Pearl of Great Price references to God weeping or being angry.  I am not saying that He never does feel strong negative emotions.  But when He does, it is not because I or someone else failed to do something like remember to fast on Fast Sunday last month.

If I am right, and God is not personally, or physically, or emotionally, or spiritually, hurt or thwarted when I engage in less than perfect behavior, then it must mean that there is something other than personally offending Him or causing Him difficulty or disappointment that my plea for forgiveness must be about.

Lately I have been studying the topic of the mercy of God, which is a fascinating and lovely subject.  And I have found that you cannot study His mercy without also running into a lot of statements and discussions about His sense of justice and what makes Him angry.  And do you know which one thing, throughout the scriptures, always makes Him angry or sad?  It is you physically, emotionally or spiritually hurting one of his other children and not caring about it, or worse, thinking it’s cool or admirable.  THAT makes Him angry and doubles his sorrow, once for you, and the other for the person you hurt.

As a mom, I totally understand that.  In my current calling I can understand that.  I can remain pretty calm and unmoved by your messing with me, but if you willfully or ignorantly and/or arrogantly hurt one of my “kids” and don’t care enough to think twice about, or, horrifically, enjoy it,  I am mad.  I can keep my cool.  I can treat you with civility, I can even continue to try to help you, but I am furious.  Mother bear furious underneath my calm efforts to work for change.  Angry at the opportunities you had to do good in which you willfully chose to do something that hurt someone else.  And sad for you.  I am so, so sad for you.

And it will only be after you have not only changed, but also after you spoken to me about that change and your regret about the damage you did to people I love, that you will begin to feel at peace in my presence and will we be able to start to rebuild trust.

So I think that helps me understand better why the scriptures discuss confessing to and receiving forgiveness from God.  It’s when we understand not just the damage we’ve done to ourselves, but, more importantly, the callously inflicted damage, great or small, that our sins cause, or will cause in the lives of our brothers and sisters who He loves as deeply as He loves us, that we begin to understand more clearly why we seek His forgiveness as well as theirs.

“Obedience is the first law of heaven.” Where did that come from?

There is a sentance that is sometimes quoted by members of my faith, though few know where it came from.  It is this:

“Obedience is the first law of heaven.”

It was spoken by Joseph F. Smith in a conference talk on October 7, 1873. *

It is often used to advocate for compliance with laws that one does not see the reasons for, and therefore is disinclined to obey, intimating that if you don’t agree, or don’t understand, then just obey anyway, because obedience is that important.

But.   In that same talk.  Joseph F. Smith explains what he means by obedience.

“We talk of obedience, but do we require any man or woman to ignorantly obey the counsels that are given? Do the first Presidency require it? No, never. What do they desire? That we may have our minds opened and our understandings enlarged, that we may comprehend all true principles for ourselves; then we will be easily governed thereby, we shall yield obedience with our eyes open, and it will he a pleasure for us to do so.”

He is advocating an obedience that is very different from obedience for the sake of obedience.  He is speaking of an obedience that is based upon an opened mind and the understanding that we have aquired of the heavenly principles behind the law and how they play out when we live them and a clear desire on our part to live those principles because those principles are ones we want to make a part of who we are and part of the world in which we live.   It is an obedience that is totally different from “obedience just because obedience is super important.”

* https://scriptures.byu.edu/#:t27123:p565

Numbers 20:8-12 Thoughts on the saying “Obedience brings blessings and exact obedience brings miracles”

I’ve already posted on the origin of that saying that was quoted in a talk given by Russell Nelson several years ago at the MTC.   He clearly thought it was a helpful way to look at things, but he was not the author of it.  Which is actually reassuring, because it’s problematic for the following reasons.

1.  When is a blessing not a miracle?    When you get right down to it, a huge percentage of the blessings we receive are pretty miraculous in and of themselves considering the nature of the universe and the state of mankind.   I believe that delineating a difference between a blessing and a miracle is simply a matter of subsets, not a matter of two different things.  Blessings are good things that happen .  The scriptures teach us “that all good things cometh from God”.   Miracles are a subset of those good things; they are the good things that come from God that are unexpected, surprising and inexplainable to us.

2. If exact obedience was required for a miracle (an amazing, unusual blessing) to occur, then when Moses struck the rock in Numbers 20: 8-12, no water would have come out of it.  His action on that occasion was not exactly obedient (and God points that out to him) and certainly the Israelites were not exactly obedient at that time either.  Hence, this story belies the assertion that exact obedience is required for miracles.

I think it’s an excellent idea to try to obey God.  But reducing the possibility of miracles to situations where our exact obedience comes into play as an essential prerequisite to the unfolding of the miracle is not a spiritually healthy way to view our relationship with God.  It is a pattern of thinking that reduces our sense of His amazing mercy and long-suffering towards us, and can reduce our view of His interaction with us to an earned merit system, which it is definitely not.

So yes, seek to know and love and obey God and his commandments and to work daily under the guidance of his Holy Spirit, but don’t believe that His love and power and will to do amazing things are dependent upon your exact obedience.  They aren’t.

Just for the fun of it.

The Mistake Waltz

Excellently done.

https://youtu.be/wDP2c2FCHAM

Meek, Matthew 11:29

I read Elder Bednar’s Conference talk today.  It is a well constructed treatise on the quality of “meekness”.

I decided to look into the way the word "meek" has been understood and translated in recording what Jesus said in Matthew 11:29, “for I am meek and lowly in heart”.

So I looked up the translation of that verse in a the few languages I know.  The variety in the translations was interesting.  And I looked it up in an English dictionary.

One entry in the latter caught my eye.  It was an “obsolete” definition; a definition that was understood long ago, but has been dropped long since.  It was “gentle, kind”.

That made sense to me.  That definition of meek in the context of that verse would make a great deal of sense.  Probably more sense than the other traditional definitions in religious discourse: submissive, obedient, humble, inclined to righteous responsiveness or given to restraint.

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am gentle and kind and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your soul.

So I looked up the that passage in Greek.  The word there is  “πραύς (praus)
And that word is defined in three different Greek dictionaries as “meek, gentle, kind, forgiving, mild, benevolent, humane”

You can find that same word also in Matthew 5:5,  (The meek shall inherit the earth.) Matthew 21:5, (Where Jesus describes his final entry into Jerusalem as “meek”) and 1st Peter 3:4. (the quality of meekness and quietness of spirit being highly valued by God)

Being gentle, kind, forgiving, benevolent, humane qualifies you as trusted by God to inherit the earth.

Kindness, forgivness, benevolence and a humanitarian response were the qualities of Christ at the time when he received the loudest acclaim and could have been, instead, proud and pleased and flattered.

When you are gentle, kind, forgiving, benevolent and humane, you are acting in a way that is highly valued by your Father in Heaven, the amazing Father who will be our ultimate judge

Obedience that comes from a way of being that includes kindness, gentleness, benevolence, forgivness and humane response (meekness) is different in quality and depth from the obedience that comes just from the other linked attributes of submission or humility or willingness to do good or self-restraint.  There is a power of goodness that is profound when the lost definitions are restored to the existing one.

I think that the contraction of and change in the word “meek” over the centuries has robbed us of something valuable in our reading of scripture.

Interestingly, I think that the men that Elder Bednar referred to in his talk,  Amulek and Pahoran, did incorporate some of those elements; Amulek in his willingness to take in and feed and help Alma when Alma was being persecuted, Pahoran's amazing response to Moroni's scathing remonstrance.

Elder Bednar didn't cover that though, perhaps because the language has changed.  I think that our language has left us with a loss.

Sometimes a spoken paragraph or two leaps out at you and you always remember it.

There have been a few times when someone has said something in a General Conference address and it has stayed with me for the rest of my life.  Something I needed to know and remember.  Here are two of them.  Nearly two decades old in my brain and my brain cells continue to bring them up into my consciousness on occasion.

“The adversary will attempt to thwart your mission, and you will face spiritual and physical danger. But if you will focus on the assignments [that the Lord has given you], if you will heed [His] voice, and if you will refuse to reduce mortality to a sight-seeing or a shopping trip, you will return safely home...

“The adversary is delighted when we act like sightseers... or shoppers...preoccupied with the vain things of this world that suffocate our spirits. Satan baits us with perishable pleasures and preoccupations—our bank accounts, our wardrobes, even our waistlines—for he knows that where our treasure is, there will our hearts be also (see Matt. 6:21). Unfortunately, it is easy to let the blinding glare of the adversary’s enticements distract us from the light of Christ.”

Sheri Dew, “We are Women of God”, October 1999

“Measure whatever anyone else asks you to do, whether it be from your family, loved ones, your cultural heritage, or traditions you have inherited—measure everything against the teachings of the Savior. Where you find a variance from those teachings, set that matter aside and do not pursue it. It will not bring you happiness” 

Howard W. Hunter “Counsel to Students and Faculty,” Church College of New Zealand, 12 Nov. 1990), quoted by Richard G. Scott in “Removing Barriers to Happiness”. April 1998

I suspect that those struck me because I, personally, either needed them then and/or needed them later.  Either way, they have been very helpful counsel to me over the years, and I am glad that they were said in my hearing.

Parental Praise and Finding Fault

What I have learned about what can happen when parental praise is both superlative and also accompanied by faultfinding:

The bar for being acceptable to the parent is set near perfection.

In your mind, your sense of being worthy of love becomes dependent upon having performed at a high level of what is expected.

If you believe the superlatives, there is a sense of being exceptional.   If you believe the fault-finding there is a real sense of distress at failing to live up to what is expected.   Believing both parts of the dichotomy creates a confused feeling of both pride, and also an enduring sense of dissatisfaction with self.

The combination of being regularly told that it is anticipated that you will be intrinsically amazing but also regularly being reminded that you have been in the past, and still are, annoyingly flawed reinforces the sense that you have failed.  It creates distress at the thought of having those flaws discovered and increases self-recrimination over them.

You become unwilling to express personal feelings that are less than perfect, believing that they will be dealt with judgmentally.

Praise from others ultimately becomes hollow and meaningless to you.

And appreciation, when received, though pleasant, and well meant, ultimately just triggers private dissatisfaction with self because of the past automatic coupling of both praise and fault-finding in the communication patterns that you heard so often as a child.

Moroni 7: Characteristics of actual faith

“Wherefore...[a man] cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek and lowly of heart.  If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God save the meek and lowly in heart;

In the New Testament, when Jesus says that he is meek and lowly, the words there are  “πραΰς” (praus) and “ταπεινὸς”  (tapeinos)  Which translate as “gentle” and “lowly”.

I think that means that there is no room for assumption or cockiness in the kind of faith and hope that God desires.  I think that means that whenever our faith becomes focused on achieving certain, hoped for outcomes or recognition of the rightness or our desires, to the detriment of our gentle awareness and treatment of others, our faith is not of God.  And whenever our faith fails to include humility and a willingness to receive, graciously, something that is given that is not what we wished for, we’ve got some learning to do.

Positive mental attitudes and focused confidence on desired outcomes, can be helpful sometimes to some people.  
But they are not faith.

I believe that you can save yourself a lot of confusion if you understand that.