Thoughts on readers and modern serious fiction

The author Jonathan Franzen was interviewed on NPR yesterday and his comments about writing novels caught my attention.  This particularly:

“…much of the work on a novel for me consists in the kind of work you might do in a paid professional's office of trying to walk back from your stuck, conflicted, miserable place to a point of a little bit more distance,  from which you can begin to fashion some meaningful narrative of how you got to the stuck place. And the stuck-ness, for the working novelist — or at least for this one — has to do with not wanting to get into certain intensely fraught or private experiences… [but] feeling that it's absolutely necessary to say things that are absolutely unsay-able."

When the interviewer asked about “unsayable things” he responded:

“The great thing about novels is…you are converting unsayable things into narratives that have their own dreamlike reality and instead of having factual statements about what is [pause] ‘Here’s the factual statement I will never make about myself, I can’t make about myself, I’m afraid or ashamed to make about myself’.  If that can be translated into characters who feel like they have some independent life and if they are embodying through their story that informational material about myself then I feel as if it’s not quite been said but it’s been enacted.”

Though Franzen is talking about information about himself, the description also applies to authors who use this genre to relay information about social issues they know first hand as well.  He captures in these words something I’ve long understood about much of modern serious fiction; that it is an author’s way of portraying something that is a profound and also disturbing ("unsayable") truth to him or her in a way that is less direct than prose and, because it is fiction, also allows dramatic flair to be added to creatively emphasize the author’s emotion or thoughts on the subject or theme of the piece of work.  As such, it can be, in some situations, an effective way of teaching the reader, adding to the vibrancy of the reader’s understanding or empathy of the subject being addressed, particularly if it is a subject that the reader has not experienced first hand, or has been previously only marginally aware of.

In this sort of previously unaware reader, the reading experience, if it is taken thoughtfully, adds insight or understanding or sympathy.  It may even become a stepping stone to passionate action when the subject is encountered in daily life.  On the other hand, unfortunately, if the reader approaches the book as entertainment, it tends to harden the reader, making it more difficult for him or her to respond with anything other than passive amusement when the issues in the novel are encountered in real life.  

For a second group of readers, those who have encountered the "unsayable" issues portrayed in their own lives and are still dealing with the fallout the experience is quite different, and also variable.  If they are still angry or frustrated, the reading can feel cathartic, expressing in a dramatic form the feelings that they are still dealing with.  On the other hand, if the issues are still ongoing and raw, it can re-open old wounds and cause increased pain.

Finally, this type of fiction doesn’t work at all for a third group of readers.  For a reader who has experienced first or second hand in the real world the "unsayables" that the novel deals with creatively, and has already addressed and is still addressing it directly in their own mind and actions in proactive ways, the dramatic flair of fiction is annoying.  For such a reader, that fictitious dramatization often feels like a trivialization of sober reality, making a serious matter look like a form of voyeuristic entertainment that reduces the reader of it to a passive consumer.  And for this group of readers, passive consumption in response to the topics being addressed is unacceptable.

This last group of readers requires personal narrative or prose that they can use in the work they are already doing.  Fiction doesn’t work.

Prodigal's Older Brother Syndrome

It occurs to me that one of the reasons we may become judgmental of others who have not made the same decisions or commitments, or are not in the same place on the road home that we are might be this:

If your sense of self-worth is grounded in your ability to comply with the expectations or hopes of someone else (be it God, or a parent, or some other major figure in your life), then you will almost automatically have a psychological need to perceive as less-worthy someone who has not complied with those expected actions.   And any intimation that one of those "less compliant" people is loved and forgiven and blessed as much as you are will likely be very unsettling to your own sense of worth.  When this is your state of mind, it is easy for your sense of unfairness to overrule your comprehension of mercy and charity.

So really the cure for such a state is not necessarily persuasion that judging is wrong, but rather the education of the mind to understand the reality that the highest we can seek for is not "worthiness" but, rather, complete charity and the embracing, personally, of the principle of mercy.

So disciplining ourselves to value who we intrinsically are, and at that same time, learning to be able to perceive value in the intrinsic natures of others, in all their variety, and not place our sense of self-worth upon what we've achieved may be key to avoiding "Prodigal's Older Brother Syndrome".

Learning how to do this in a world where we are constantly called upon to measure and compare our scores and achievements and decisions with our own previous ones as well as with those of others or with what we perceive as "the ideal", and in communities that reward and laud us accordingly, is no mean feat.


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A Line from "First Knight".

"How could I not love him, he wears his power so lightly, has such gentleness in his eyes."

"The bedrock moral issue for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is how we treat each other as children of God."

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued the following official statement on immigration yesterday:

Around the world, debate on the immigration question has become intense. That is especially so in the United States. Most Americans agree that the federal government of the United States should secure its borders and sharply reduce or eliminate the flow of undocumented immigrants. Unchecked and unregulated, such a flow may destabilize society and ultimately become unsustainable.

As a matter of policy, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discourages its members from entering any country without legal documentation, and from deliberately overstaying legal travel visas.

What to do with the estimated 12 million undocumented immigrants now residing in various states within the United States is the biggest challenge in the immigration debate. The bedrock moral issue for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is how we treat each other as children of God.

The history of mass expulsion or mistreatment of individuals or families is cause for concern especially where race, culture, or religion are involved. This should give pause to any policy that contemplates targeting any one group, particularly if that group comes mostly from one heritage.

As those on all sides of the immigration debate in the United States have noted, this issue is one that must ultimately be resolved by the federal government.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is concerned that any state legislation that only contains enforcement provisions is likely to fall short of the high moral standard of treating each other as children of God.

The Church supports an approach where undocumented immigrants are allowed to square themselves with the law and continue to work without this necessarily leading to citizenship.

In furtherance of needed immigration reform in the United States, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints supports a balanced and civil approach to a challenging problem, fully consistent with its tradition of compassion, its reverence for family, and its commitment to law.

"I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm going to put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm going to have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."

~Mitch Hedberg

Insight from L.

 Jesus and Satan are polar opposites in the following way:

Satan does all he can to minimize the gravity and seriousness of sin and, when you do sin, does all he can to persuade you that you are horrible and/or seriously lacking, are a lost cause and declares that now, for you, there’s no way you really ever can come to complete reconciliation with God.

Jesus, on the other hand, is totally honest about the gravity, darkness and seriousness of sin and, when you do sin, does all he can to persuade you that you are known and loved, knows certainly that you are not a lost cause, provides a universally accessible way for you to become truly completely reconciled with God and has the power to make it so.

No Other Gods

I’m in the process of re-reading the Old Testament, so I’ve been thinking about the notion of  worshipping other gods which is a constantly reoccuring subject matter there.  There aren’t very many traditions of polytheism currently being practiced in North America these days, which leads us to hear to the oft-repeated question in Sunday School classes,  “What are the other gods we might be tempted to worship today?”  And people tend to think of cars or wealth or position or power or celebrity.

I think it might be helpful to consider what the patterns and desires are that were expressed in ancient worship as we try to consider what the parallels in our era might be, so, drawing upon my meager knowledge of South Asian and African cultures that do include differing gods and my understanding of ancient Greek and Roman religious beliefs which also included gods competing for mortals’ attention I can come up with the following:

Worship most commonly involved:

• A belief that a god’s opinion of you, or that being in his or her good graces, is the most important source for your success in life and your material well-being and emotional stability.

• A belief that sacrificing things that are important to you in order to win a god’s good opinion and help is effective in gaining what you desire.

• A belief that the gods that other people look to for help are not as powerful or effective as the ones to whom you look for help.

• A strong sense of tradition and custom that feels familiar and comfortable.

So, therefore, in considering the answer to the above mentioned Sunday School question…

From which people or institutions do I seek approval more than I seek to please God in my quest for social success, material well being and emotional stability?  And, is one of those people me?

For which goals or for which people’s approval do I sacrifice things that are most important to me? 

Are there things, philosophies or people that I think are more effective in helping me achieve my desires than God is?  Do I act like there are?

As I consider the people who I feel I most need to please in order to succeed, or the philosopies or assumptions that I most need to conform to in order to be succesful, how many of those are ones I embrace simply due to tradition and a comfortable sense of the familiar or established?

Food for thought.

Stumbled upon today

"Sometimes I don’t see my 5-year-old either, or my husband, or my 2-year-old.  It’s easy to see them as obstacles.  But then I wake up, remember that they are here happening for me, not to me."
~ Kamille

To Give and to Receive

To give yourself to a spouse in marriage:  to remember, as life gets crazier and children come and dreams look possible and you feel the thrill and sense of accomplishment that comes from giving yourself to those people and goals, that your giving of yourself to your spouse comes first and, if nurtured, will last longest and best.  It’s easy to lose sight of that.

To receive to yourself someone as your spouse in marriage:  to remember that you actively received that spouse, the attractive and good as well as the unattractive and imperfect aspects of their lives and personalities.  It is easy, as time passes, to be annoyed and frustrated at the minor imperfections and differences your spouse brings to a marriage and to wish that they were different from what they are.  But the covenant is to receive a spouse, not selectively accept only the parts that we like best and be dissatisfied with the parts that are different.  It’s easy to lose sight of that too.

What John Murdock wrote

 “In one of these meetings [at the School of the Prophets] the prophet told us if we could humble ourselves before God, and exercise strong faith, we should see the face of the Lord. And about midday the visions of my mind were opened, and the eyes of my understanding were enlightened, and I saw the form of a man, most lovely, the visage of his face was sound and fair as the sun. His hair a bright silver grey, curled in most majestic form, His eyes a keen penetrating blue, and the skin of his neck a most beautiful white and he was covered from the neck to the feet with a loose garment, pure white, whiter than any garment I have ever before seen. His countenance was most penetrating, and yet most lovely. And while I was endeavoring to comprehend the whole personage from head to feet it slipped from me, and the vision was closed up. But it left on my mind the impression of love, for months, that I never felt before to that degree.” 

John Murdock Journal, typescript, BYU Archives, p.13, capitalization standardized, italics added

Saving, in more ways than one.

Do not leave yourself or your family unprotected against financial storms. Forgo luxuries, for the time being at least, to build up savings. How wise it is to provide for the future education of your children and for your old age.

The smaller the family income, the more important it is that every dollar be used wisely. Efficient spending and saving will give the family more security, more opportunities, more education, and a higher standard of living.

Ezra Taft Benson, "Pay Thy Debt, and Live", Ensign, June 1987, 3

L’s parents lived on his father’s modest income.  His mother was a master at budgeting and making do and she and her husband were united on their financial priorities and they believed in putting aside savings for the things that were most important.  L’s father died suddenly and unexpectedly when L was 16 years old.  Two years later L started college.  A combination of scholarships, work study, attendance at a subsidized university and money his father had carefully saved for his education allowed him to graduate with his bachelor’s degree debt free.  Scholarships and work study were not available for his graduate education but the money his father had set aside was enough to cover his tuition at a state school where he was fortunate enough to be admitted.  He lived at his mother’s home for those first two years in order to cover his living expenses and then, after we were married, I worked to pay for them.  He graduated from with his doctoral degree without any education debt, something for which we are profoundly grateful. 

My parents had a larger income, though they also had seven children which made budgeting also important.  My father had paid for his undergraduate education with a combination of work and financial assistance from his father, who had saved money for that purpose.  My mother was an undergraduate with another two years of school ahead of her when she married my dad in his second year of post graduate education.  She worked part-time and finished her education two months before I was born.  Financial assistance from both of my grandfathers was essential for my parents’ family as my father did his six years of residency at a time when residents were not paid anything at all.  My parents were profoundly grateful and determined that they would try to bless their children similarly.

When I turned 18 and started college I also worked and studied and it was savings set aside by my paternal grandparents for their grandchildren that made up the difference in my tuition.  I finished without any debt as well.  Their assistance enabled my father to shift his education savings towards the education of my younger siblings.

What L and I found was that this tradition of older generations saving for the education of the younger leaves a profound gift of freedom for both generations and the extended family, not just the younger ones who are in school.  Finishing school without debt saved L and me not only from huge amounts of stress and anxiety about the future, but also enabled us to be available for more opportunities for service.  If we had been paying off education debts when L’s brother was called to serve as a mission president at the end of L’s training, we would not have been able to provide the financial assistance he needed in order to be able to respond to that call.  But, because we had no debt obligations, we could.  And L’s brother was able to serve.

We started saving for our children’s education when they were born.  At first it was only a little bit while we were living on L’s early small salary, but we knew we needed to start that habit in order for it to last for the ensuing decades.  We knew that if we waited we would wait too long.

 Sometimes we forget, as parents thinking about the future educational needs of our children, that financial aid packages not only require work study, grants, and student loans, but also parental contributions as well. I have sweet friends who were unable to save for their children’s education and thought that if they sent their children to community colleges and state schools they would be able to manage that.  Little did any of us anticipate how those tuitions would increase over what they were when we were students.  They are now are paying off parental obligation debts they incurred for their children’s education at state schools while their children struggle to pay off their own portion of those education loans.  My friends had planned to be serving as senior missionary couples by now, but those debts make that not possible.

Yes, if your children are blessed with particular athletic or academic gifts, or admission to a particularly inexpensive school they may be able to get themselves through their undergraduate education with a lot of work and no debt.  And I am very much in favor of students working to help pay for their tuition. But it is much, much harder for a student to graduate debt-free than it was when I was a student as tuition costs have far outstripped inflation. And the financial outlook is even grimmer for the children being born today.  It behooves us to make sacrifices that enable both them and us to enjoy freedom from enslaving debt as much as possible.

Finally, many parents are poor enough that saving is impossible.  Financial aid, scholarships and work study will likely decrease in the future as educational institutions struggle with budget decreases and rising costs.  The competition for those resources will increase as student population increases.  It behooves those of us who can set at least some money aside for education to do so in order that those resources may be spread more widely among all who need it.  Thus, saving for education not only blesses you and your children and your extended family, but also gives you opportunity  to fulfill the commandment that we assist those in need.

Ezra Taft Benson’s counsel has proved wise for us.

Taking upon yourself a name

Last night, due to a Primary lesson I’m preparing, I was trying to think about how to explain the concept of taking upon oneself the name of Jesus Christ when one receives baptism.  Children understand the idea of identifying themselves as individuals by their first names and being a “Jones” or a “Smith” by affiliation because of their last name.  But when you talk about adding Christ’s name to your identity they often don’t understand, because, of course, you don’t change what you call yourself.  Your name doesn’t change, even though you have gone through the formal ceremony of deciding to become Christ's “son” or “daughter”.

But how about if we thought about it rather like a title of responsibility?  Think about Albert who married Queen Victoria.  When he married her he was Francis Albert Augustus Charles Emmanuel of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, (and after 1857) Duke of Saxony, but his friends and family simply called him Albert.  After he married Victoria went by “HRH Prince Albert” in formal circles and was called simply “Albert” by his wife.  He would not have introduced himself as “Francis Albert Augustus Charles Emmanuel of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, Duke of Saxony” or even “HRH Prince Albert” though he was duke of Saxony and designated as a Prince and always knew that about himself.  Perhaps in his mind, every time he introduced himself or said his name in one of its shortened forms, he was aware of the parts unspoken, though he felt no need to mention them.

Which made me think, what if, every time I introduced myself or said who I was on the phone, I said my usual name out loud and then in my head added “a disciple of Jesus Christ”.  What a pointed reminder it might be to me each time about how I should be treating the person with whom I was speaking or what my priorities should be or how I might better respond to the challenges or opportunities of that particular day.  It might not be a bad idea.

Autumn!

This caught my attention when I was working in the attic this week.  Fall colors.  We DO get some of them here.

Spreading Out Your Blessings

I ran across this brief story this morning:

I was in a Salvation Army store recently, and a young woman was looking at a nice black lace blouse and two shells to wear under it.

I remarked, "That is lovely." She looked up, glowing, and said, "My husband got to work some overtime this week and he said he'd take me out Saturday night. I want to look nice. Which one do you think looks best?"

I truthfully told her I thought either one would work fine and she would look so nice. She was so happy, and it was obviously an unusual occasion for her to get to go out.

I thought then how fortunate that someone had donated the nice blouse instead of keeping it or selling it at a garage sale.

We are cleaning out a lot of unused stuff I had been saving for a garage sale, but that convinced me to donate it, instead, and I did.

I also saved myself the hassle of a sale to only be stuck with the leftovers...


Food for thought.

Philosophy When There's Two Weeks to Go

I come from a long line of talented hostesses.  Many are the women in my family tree who not only have had excellent skills and aptitudes when it comes to making a lovely welcoming experience, but also enjoy the process and pull it off happily.  I have long enjoyed and appreciated their gifts.  I also realize that for some reason those gifts skipped me.  Certainly I can clean the house and cook good food and make people feel welcome, but the flower arranging, color coordinating, display and elegance gifts have consistently eluded me.  I am like the appreciative member of the audience at the opera, fully amazed and happy about the performance, and totally unable to sing like that.  That's fine.  Not all of us need to be opera singers or fabulous hostesses.  However there are times when it would be helpful to be one or the other.

So, now, as I embark on the final preparations for my lovely daughter's wedding reception, I am appreciative of the help offered by my talented female relatives, conscientiously giving it my very best effort, and fully aware that my efforts and my results will not be opera star quality.  In this situation I have found the following guidelines and insights helpful.

The first is a couple of sentences in a piece on courtship and marriage for parents of young people that I saved years ago.  I don't know the author.  "Ideally courtship leads to a wedding...The reception following should be moderate and dignified."

Moderate and dignified.  I think we can do that.

The other is from a syndicated article that appeared in our local newspaper.  The author is Donna Milligan Meadows, and she wrote about illusion and beauty.  One of the things she wrote about was the struggle she had as she tried to make her backyard garden a lovely setting for her daughter's upcoming wedding, and the concern she felt about the setbacks of torrential rains and flourishing weeds in the weeks leading up to the celebration.  She wrote:

"As I was kneeling in mud trying to pull a few obvious weeds, a tree branch brushed caressingly across my shoulder like the soft touch of a tender hand and in the quiet breeze I heard [my friend's] gentle voice from the past saying, 'Donna, it's all an illusion.  The details don't matter.'  Again, I knew she was right.  I looked around and saw that not only had the weeds flourished in the constant downpours, so had the flowers; they were luxurious.  The plants and what grass remained green looked emerald and sparkled in the sunlight.  
the illusion of my yard was a place of peace and tranquility.  Once my daughter walked into view in her elegant, snow-white dress, with the glow of love in her eyes, no one would notice the weeds or the brown spots in the grass.  This outdoor setting  was just a fragrant backdrop for an unforgettable event."

So, modest, dignified, fragrant backdrop, here we come.  As much as I might wish I could make it so, it won't be sophisticated or fabulous, but it will be fine and it will be good and we'll enjoy the process.

The Top Seventeen Books

I woke up this morning thinking about reading.  (I'd enjoyed the luxury of reading through a copy of Elizabeth Coatsworth"s Here I Stay the evening before, while waiting for an appointment.)  This led me to make a mental list of books that I'm very glad I have read over the past thirty years because they have taught me or reminded me of good and helpful things at various points in my life.

Here's the list, in the general order in which I recall having read them:

Couples--Carlfred Broderick
One Flesh, One Heart--Carlfred Broderick
Believing Christ--Stephen Robinson
For the Love of Children--Edward E. Ford and Steven Englund
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk--Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Siblings Without Rivalry: how to help your children live together so you can live too--Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
My Parents Married on a Dare--Carlfred Broderick
Plain and Simple: a journey to the Amish--Sue Bender
Feeling Good: the new mood therapy--David Burns
Christlike Parenting--Glenn Latham
Celebration of Discipline: the path to spiritual growth--Richard J. Foster
The Peacegiver--Richard Farrell
Counseling With Our Councils--M. Russell Ballard
The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Living on a Budget--Peter Sander and Jennifer Bayse Sander
Financial Peace Revisited--Dave Ramsey
What Paul Really Said About Women--John Temple Bristow
Real Love in Marriage--Greg Baer

I'm currently studying "Women in Eternity, Women in Zion" by Alma Don Sorenson and Valerie Hudson.  So far it looks like it may be worthy of adding to the list.  We'll see.

Update, May 2020.  “Women in Eternity was good, but didn’t quite make the cut.  See my review dated 6/7/2013
Looking back at the  9 1/2 years since this post I would add “More with Less”, by Francine Joy to the list.
I’ve started “Christ in Crisis; Why we need to reclaim Jesus” by Jim Wallis this month.  It’s looking like it may make the list.

Everybody loves J.

    

  

   

Charleston

"And the Lord hath performed his word..."

"Whatever good we do, we must look upon it as the performance of God's promise to us, rather than the performance of our promises to him.  The more we do for God the more we are indebted to him; for our sufficiency is of him and not of ourselves."

~Matthew Henry (1662-1714) commentary on 1st Kings, 8:20

Alma 39, a parable

You have driven to southern Utah to do some camping and hiking with your 17 year old son, your 10 year old nephew and 6 year old niece. After hiking in, you find a good campsite near some slot canyons you hope to explore and set up camp.

The next morning your niece and nephew wander off to explore the area a bit while you start breakfast and your son reads.  Time passes and they don't return so you call to your son who stuffs the magazine he was reading into his back pocket and the two of you start out to look for them.  It doesn't take long for you to find them standing at the bottom of a small slot canyon, about 10 feet down.  You can see the traces of the small slide they created as they slipped down the side of the canyon.  They are unhurt, but they are unable to get themselves out.  The sides of the canyon are too steep for them to navigate and the ends of the canyon are clogged with debris from earlier flash flooding.

You tell your son to wait with the children and you scurry off to your campsite where you gather up the long rope your father had put in the trunk of your car before your trip.  Returning to the site you realize that there are no trees to which you can tie the ropes but you and your son both weigh significantly more than the two children and you know your nephew has some experience rappelling, so you make a plan.  Handing the rope to your son you instruct him to find a place where he can sit and brace himself and serve to anchor it.  You take the other end and toss it over the side of the canyon, instructing your niece on how to tie it around her waist properly.  She manages to do so with the help of her brother and with some effort you and your son are able to pull her out of the canyon with your father's rope.  Checking to see that your son is well braced for the second rescue, you throw the rope to your nephew who secures himself.  You wedge yourself against a rock and start to pull and he begins the ascent.  As he nears the top you reach out one hand to help him over the edge when suddenly the rope behind you goes slack.  Unable to stop the rope from slipping with just one hand in spite of your frantic efforts, you watch, horrified as your nephew falls back into the canyon.  You yell and quickly  peer over the edge.  He is seated at the bottom of the canyon, doubled over, holding his arm.  You turn around and yell a question to your son asking what happened.  He is sitting where you left him, a magazine at his side. It is quickly apparent to you that while attempting to pull the magazine out of his pocket to look at it, he had lost his grip on the rope.  He was pulling out the magazine to read it!!!???  Now????  You feel the utter dismay and frustration at his thoughtless negligence surge through you.  You tell your nephew to hold on, that you'll try again.  He replies adamantly he can't do that, his arm hurts too much, his ankle is twisted and what if the rope fails again like it did just now?   You do all you can to reassure him that it will work, but having having fallen once he doesn't trust the rope. You turn back to your son and the wind riffles the pages of the magazine beside him.  You realize it's a copy of "Penthouse".

Alma 39

“Most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost”. (Alma 39:5) This is the phrase that Alma uses as he chastises his son, Corianton in chapter 39 of Alma after Corianton had left the ministry and gone after the harlot, Isabel.

But Alma is not talking about sexual sin. Fornication and adultery certainly are serious sins, but they are not the ones Alma is talking about. A close reading of this chapter reveals that he is talking about something more destructive; the sin of abetting the spiritual death of another person.

Alma remonstrates Corianton in verse 2 for his boasting in his strength and wisdom. Corianton seems to have been a cocky fellow, the sort of overly confident person who is generally unaware or dismissive of the effect of his actions on others. When called to be a missionary he, after awhile, left the ministry (v. 3) to pursue Isabel, likely thinking about nothing much more than his own interests and desires, ignoring completely the effect of such actions on others. Alma is very clear in verse 3 about what Corianton SHOULD have been doing instead. And it is not chastity he talks about, it is the abandonment of his calling to teach people about Christ and the light and truth of his gospel. “Thou shouldst have tended to the ministry wherewith thou was entrusted,” says Alma, “Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord?” (verse 5)

Now it’s easy to think that the “these things” refer to sexual sins, but there is a brilliant exposition in verse 6 that shows that "these things" is something else.

In verse 5 Alma says Corianton’s sin as almost as abominable as the sins of the shedding of innocent blood (consciously causing the untimely physical death of someone else) or denying the Holy Ghost (choosing spiritual death for yourself). In verse 6 he lays out clearly the latter of those two sins and its analogy to the sin of which he accuses Corianton. Watch the parallel.

“For behold, if ye deny the Holy Ghost when it once had place in you, and ye know that ye deny I, behold this is a sin which is unpardonable;

Yea, AND whosoever murdereth against the light and knowledge of God, it is not easy for him to obtain forgiveness.”

Alma is telling Corianton that his serious sins has been that abandoning his calling to teach light and life and, not only that, then acting in ways that actually abet the spiritual death of others. Alma elaborates in verses 11 through 13 when he again warns Corianton not only to avoid Isabel but to avoid being led away by any vain or foolish thing because “Behold, O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites; for when they saw your conduct they would not believe in my words. And now the Lord doth say unto me: Command thy children to do good, lest they lead away the hearts of many people to destruction…turn to the Lord…that ye lead away the hearts of no more to do wickedly”.

The three great sins are not denial of the Holy Ghost (choosing your own spiritual death), murder (causing the physical death of another) and breaking the law of chastity. The three great sins are denial of the Holy Ghost (choosing your own spiritual death), murder (causing the physical death of another) and this third one: aiding and abetting another person’s spiritual death. Christ’s great work for us is the effectuation of redemption from physical death and spiritual death. You can see why it might be therefore that our greatest sins are committed when we work directly against that, causing physical death or spiritual death in ourselves or in others.

This is the reason Alma spends the rest of chapter 39 admonishing Corianton to repent and return to the Lord and his calling to the ministry “that ye lead away the hearts of no more to do wickedly” and declare the word to the people “that salvation might come unto them, that they may prepare the minds of their children to hear the word at the time of his coming” (verses 13 and 16) . He is calling upon Corianton to cease committing the sin of abetting spiritual death and to take up the work of encouraging spiritual life.

Perhaps we take too lightly this sin, or perhaps we, like Corianton simply are oblivious to the seriousness of it. Jesus however did not and was not.

Matthew 18: 6-7:
And whoso shall offend (GR: cause to stumble) one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come: but woe to that man by whom the offence commeth!

Sexual sin is a serious sin, but it is not the sin Alma is talking about in Alma 39:5. It is the sin of self-indulgently and unconcernedly causing, aiding or abetting another’s spiritual death and rejection of light, making it harder for them to find and return to the Lord’s presence thereby “lead[ing] away the hearts of many people to destruction” (vs.12), particularly when we have been called and accepted a call to bring them spiritual light and life, that the Lord decries so seriously and that Alma calls “most abominable in the sight of the Lord save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost.”

Alma 34 (warning...long....)

Over the years I have run into way too many people who read the words of Amulek in the 34th chapter of Alma and believe that people they love are doomed if they do not repent and turn to God in this life. They become anxious and fearful for the souls of their loved ones, which gets in the way of their being hopeful and full of faith. The two verses that seem to be quoted the most frequently are verses 34 and 35. Thirty four talks about not “procrastinating the day of your repentance” and then verse 35 reads:

"For behold, if ye have procrastinated the day of your repentance even until death, behold ye have become subjected to the devil, and he doth seal you his; therefore the Spirit of the Lord hath withdrawn from you, and hath no place in you, and the devil hath all power over you; and this is the final state of the wicked."

That certainly, at first glance, seems like a message of “get your act together and believe before you die or you are toast”, but if you read the whole chapter and take these two verses in context, the message is quite different and much more nuanced and subtle.

Amulek begins his discourse by adding his testimony to Alma’s of the divinity and of atonement of Jesus Christ and of the necessity for faith and repentance on our part (verses 1-16). He then strongly counsels his listeners to pray constantly and consistently and then, after developing faith and prayer, to become full of charity towards their fellow men (verses 17-30). He has, in a nutshell, covered the basics of the teachings of Christ: faith, repentance, prayer/communication with God and charity.

Having outlined the essential elements of Christian life he then begins to urge his listeners to embrace them now, and not put it off. You can see it in verses 31-34:

“harden not your hearts any longer”, “this life is the time”, “do not procrastinate”, “ye cannot say , when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent”

And then comes verse 35, and the casual reader thinks, “oh no! When he dies, it will be too late!” But a closer reading reveals that Amulek is not talking about physical death nor is he talking about a deadline. He is talking about spiritual death and about becoming.

Look at the messages in verses 31-36. In the interest of space I will just pull out the key phrases

31. “come forth and harden not your hearts any longer”: Hard heartedness is not helpful.
“now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent…immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.” You can start to change now and you will immediately start reaping the blessings of forgiveness and redemption. There is no waiting for it, it is available right now. This is a message of hope.

32. “this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God”: The purpose of life on earth is to become the person God hopes we will be. That work is not just for our time in paradise or prison, it’s the purpose of our life now. And all the other things we think life is about, money, fame, power, stuff, romance, thrills, careers, athletics or whatever, are not what this life is about. Rather the things Amulek talked about before; developing faith, repentance, prayer/communication with God and charity, are the purpose of this life.

“and if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed”: First of all, what is “the night of darkness” that comes? It is not physical death. Doctrine and Covenants 84:54 sheds some light on this:

“your minds in times past have been darkened because of unbelief, and because you have treated lightly the things you have received”

Darkness comes from choosing not to believe and from refusing to take seriously the things that are important. When Amulek talks about the night of darkness he isn’t talking about death, he is talking about the point in one’s existence, either in this life or the next, when one becomes a person who has the light of truth within himself so seriously dimmed by unbelief and/or a failure to take seriously the pursuit, on any level, of faith, repentance, communication with God or charity, that he no longer finds any interest in nor will he make any effort to choose any of those things, preferring darkness to light. And the darkness isn’t just a little bit of darkness, but a night of darkness. Amulek is talking about a spiritual state of being, a spiritual, not a physical death.

34. This verse challenges the assumption that some of Amulek’s hearers have that they can postpone this hopeful change and repentance, which he outlined in verse 31, until after they hit this dark point described in verse 33 (which they may actually think they may not ever hit if they play their cards right). And he also addresses those who think they might postpone this change until after they have finished all their earthly pursuits and are in the next life, those who think that it will be easy to change their minds and hearts when they stand before God and therefore hope to live it up in this life, postponing their repentance, thinking it will be easy to switch after they’ve finished. You might call this latter the “have their cake and eat it too” crowd. “Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis [the ”night of darkness” of verse 33] that I will return to my God…that same spirit that doth possess your bodies at the time that you go out of this life…will have the power to posses your body in the eternal world”. You may notice that in these words Amulek is also addressing those who believe they can change anytime they want, they just don’t want to right now. It is a common refrain heard among us all, and most commonly pointed out in the lives of those who are addicted to substances. But we all employ that rationalization about the sins we enjoy and wish to keep a little bit longer before we give them up. Amulek’s message is that it will be just as hard then as it is now, so postponing it is not as smart a plan as you might think or hope it might be. (And look at all the smart reasons to begin to repent now in verse 31.)

35. “if ye have procrastinated the day of your repentance even until death” What kind of death? Remember verse 32? Spiritual death. It’s clear from the ensuing phrases that this is what he is describing: “behold, ye have become subjected to the spirit of the devil…the Spirit of the Lord hath withdrawn from you, and the devil hath all power over you; and this is the final state of the wicked”. Here he is warning again against thinking it is worth it to put off repentance and change. He is saying that it is even possible to keep putting it off so long that you get yourself so far down the path of sin and darkness that you have completely given yourself over to embracing darkness and closed yourself off from the light of the Holy Spirit. This, he says, is where determined unrepentance will ultimately (not just 200 years from now, but ultimately) land you if you do not ever choose to turn back. This is, actually, an interesting discussion of what damnation (“the final state of the wicked”) really is. It is not just a judgment call by God. It is the ultimate natural consequence of many, many continuous choices to embrace sin and reject repentance over a very long period of time.

Amulek finishes his discourse by outlining, in verses 37-41, things we can do to assist the repentance process which he hopes we will choose now instead of procrastinating it. Having outlined the basics of Christian life and exhorted his hearers to repentance and frankly addressing the pitfall of procrastination he knows we will be tempted fall into instead, he describes all the principles and tools that will help us to make that repentant change of heart. These verses describe the ever-so-helpful practices of confessing Christ, listening to the Holy Spirit, humility, worship, thanksgiving, recognition of God’s mercy, watchful prayer, patience, bearing afflictions, returning kindness for reviling, and hope.

Amulek’s discourse is not a “do it now or it will be too late when you die” sermon. It is a discourse on the essentials of Christian discipleship, a call to repentance, a promise of the blessings that come from that, a warning about the lies of the temptation of procrastination, a discussion of spiritual death, and an outline of the principles and practices God has given us to help us to avoid that spiritual death both in this life and in every aspect of our eternal existence. It is a message of hope the veracity of which you can see playing out its light in the life of every person you know, including yourself, who is, on any level, no matter how imperfectly or far from the mark, desiring to do and/or be good. And it is counsel to you and me to hope, have faith in Christ, love, repent and praise and employ the merciful aid of God in our lives now, not later.

Why I Blog:

I blog for three reasons. One is to share photos with family far away. One is to keep track of links to ideas that I find compelling. And the last is to have a place where I can write what I'm mulling or learning.

The last is the most prone to difficulties. I have a brain that heads into essay writing mode every once in a while. It tends to move on its own accord from mulling to composing and so I write for two reasons. The first is to sort and clarify those thoughts for myself since getting the thoughts down in that way seems to free my mind for whatever learning or thinking comes next. The second is because, if I don't write it, my brain keeps revisiting it and revising it. It's easier to get it down into print where I can read it and edit it, rather than having to keep all those composed sentences and paragraphs in their various draft forms organized in my head.

I am an imperfect writer. I do not always articulate well what I am thinking. Sometimes I leave important considerations or details out. Sometimes my choice of words is inadequate or not precise enough. More times than I would wish, in my lifetime, I have written inexactly enough that I have been misunderstood and have inadvertently given rise to assumptions I wouldn't even dream of including.

Since this blog has received more visits in the recent past than it did earlier, I thought I should explain the above and just say that when you visit you are welcome. I hope that you will find it mildly interesting and ask that you not only be understanding about the flaws and the unsettling bits but that you also feel free to point them out so that I can revisit and rearticulate them more accurately. I will find that helpful.

Gr.Gr.Gr. Grandfather James Dunster

James Dunster (1831-1907) with his three living sons, from right to left, Jacob Jones Dunster (1858-1918), James Matthew Dunster (1871-1960) and Samuel Lewis Dunster (1878-1892). Estimated date of photograph: about 1888

His oldest child, Mary Elizabeth, is the child in this family who is our ancestor.

This Used to be Our Back Lawn in our Small Backyard

Zucchini in the foreground, tomatoes to the right. Greens and herbs and flowers coming along. Melons just starting to take over the rear. I'm impressed with the beds and paths Lewis made.

Family Literacy

Bowdlerizing Cinderella

As a child I was mesmerized by folk and fairy tales, legends and myths. I would get lost in Andrew Lang’s fairy tale books and I read and re-read retellings of ancient Greek myths, Aesop’s fables, Robin Hood and King Arthur’s court. They affirmed my belief and hope that right choices were worth fighting for, that paying attention to wise advice was a smart thing to do, that the underdogs were right to stay firm in their integrity even when they were outnumbered, and that goodness, even if it was not rewarded, was worth standing for. As an adult I read Bruno Bettleheim’s, The Uses of Enchantment, which won a National Book Award in 1977 and in which he discussed the developmental and symbolic importance of traditional fairy tales for the emotional health of children. He made a particular point of including traditional, strong worded tales that included swift and violent justice such as those collected by the Grimm brothers. He believed that reading or hearing such tales helped children develop their own sense of justice, right, courage and heroism in the face of great odds and sometimes overwhelming fear or helplessness. I recognized the truth of what he was trying to say. Those tales had been a source of moral compass to me as a child at times when I felt like I was unable to change circumstances around me controlled by people who had more power than I.

This week I read an article by Jane Yolen about the mass media dumbing down of Cinderella. She contrasted the early versions of this universal tale with the sugar sweet versions of the last 100 years or so. In early versions Cinderella continues, in spite of her stepmother’s scorn, to perform proper rites and rituals at her mother’s grave and to enlist assistance from birds who roost there (Grimm), packs up her belongings and seeks and gets work at the castle (French), makes intelligent suggestions when her fairy godmother is momentarily confused and double-talks her sisters after the ball to find out what they thought without revealing that she was there (Perrault). Her step-mother and step-sisters invariably get their come-uppance, often violently, either self-inflicted or pronounced by those in power.

Contrast these determined, hardy, helpful, and clever Cinderellas with the ones more commonly published since 1900, including the ubiquitous Disney version who pays no attention to the warnings of the mice, cowers as her stepsisters tear her dress to shreds and whose ability to meet up with the prince a second time requires neither determination, intelligence, or willingness to work and collaborate, but instead depends on the cleverness of those same mice. For her, her successful thwarting of her opposition comes from others, requiring no more than dreamy wishing and general niceness and submission on her part. And her step-family never experiences any consequences other than embarrassment, disappointment or dismay.

I don’t know why 20th century mass media fairy tale telling took this sort of turn. I suspect that popular culture changed in its notion of the artistic feminine ideal, the tellers changed their tales to please and to reflect that change, and as a result young children who only heard the modern versions missed out on the moral lessons and courage building that came to previous generations of children from the older tales.

And that leads me to think about the kind of religious stories we tell our children. The old scriptural versions of godly men and women were strong-minded actors; Eve, making a choice, owning up to it, and gaining insight into the good that came from that choice. Ruth, choosing to brave poverty in a strange land in order to help her widowed mother-in-law instead of returning to the comfort of her parents’ home. Deborah, judging Israel with wisdom, speaking truth to Barak and accompanying him to battle to overthrow Caananite oppression. Zipporah who, when her husband was too faint-hearted to circumcise his sons as a token of dedication, took a knife and did the job herself. Enoch who spoke out in spite of his slow speech. Daniel who chose to pray knowing that the den of lions would likely be the consequences. Mary Magdalene who got up at the crack of dawn on a morning of great sorrow to do the work of embalming the dead. These are people who both HUMBLY AND FIRMLY acted out their conscience, put their hearts into what they thought was right, lived by those principles in spite of facing huge challenges and found it worth the effort. Scriptural stories of men and women of God have the potential to help children develop emotional strength and moral compass in a manner similar to the one that folk tales do, but their power to do so diminishes if we fail to tell them as they are written.

I think that just as 20th century tale-tellers fell into the trap of changing their stories to reflect modern artistic ideals, whatever they might have been at the time, so do 20th and 21st century religious storytellers face a similar temptation as they retell stories of strong women or men in the scriptures. Whether those ideals include modern notions of helplessness and power-abdicating submission on one extreme, or modern notions of autonomous, arrogant self-sufficiency on the other, or whatever variation between the two we happen to subscribe to, we all run the risk of bowdlerizing the original stories and thereby failing to give our young listeners the opportunity to use the originals to find their own strengths and vision.

What positive experiences with old versions of stories from folktales, myths, legends and ancient scripture did you have as a child?

Learning from My Grandmothers

I am at a stage in life where I have the means and time to research and write family history so I increasingly find myself immersed in stories and accounts written by the women in my family tree and their family members and peers. Every one of those women encountered tragedies and struggles in their lives. There is not a single exception. Sorrow is a part of each of their stories. So I have been thinking about sadness and its relationship to the gospel of Christ.

One great grandmother, Moriah, who was born in a small southern Utah town, buried ten of her thirteen children before they reached the age of 18. Another step-great, great grandmother, Sarah, received the gospel with her family as a young woman in a mining town in England, fell in love with and married a fine, young miner in that town who was a member of her congregation and was raising two children when her husband, as her father had been before him, was killed in a mining explosion. She used the money the mine gave her for compensation for the death of her husband to emigrate to Utah shortly after which her youngest child died. She met, loved and married my great, great grandfather and raised his three boys, her remaining daughter, and a passel of subsequent children, some of whom lived and some of whom did not.

My grandmother, Mariah’s daughter, told me stories of Mariah’s constant kindness and business-like determination to organize her Relief Society work to reach out to families in her community who were in need of food and help. She called her an angel.

Sarah was known for her careful, kind years of work as a member of her town’s “burial committee”, responsible for the washing, laying out of the body, sewing and clothing and flowers needed by a family in grief. Her granddaughter, Vida, remembers her for her ability to see the beauty in nature, her gratitude and fortitude as well as her quiet, dignified manner.

I did not know Mariah or Sarah, but I did know Ida, my calm, devout, sweet-smelling great grandmother who grew up with an absent father, lost a baby girl at birth, lost an energetic, strapping, son to a sudden illness when he was 18, and nursed her husband through years of multiple sclerosis. She used to recite long stretches of poetry to me, bake bread for us when my mom was sick, and beat me thoroughly at Scrabble.

All three of these women were thoroughly devoted to God and to the church. All three of them experienced times of terrific sorrow, struggle and loss. And all three found that the former helped them through the latter.

Nowadays I spend my Sundays teaching a Primary class. Every once in a while the lesson manual will tell a story, either from the scriptures or from a person’s life, about a choice wisely made, and include the question, “How do you think so-and-so felt when he did that?” And the children, having heard such questions before, will answer with a bit of a sing-song tone, “ha—ppy”. And then I have to get them to think deeper than that.

Wise choices don’t make happiness. Neither does living the gospel of Christ mean that we will always be happy. But I wonder if sometimes we don’t think they are supposed to. Perhaps that is because we read “Man is that he might have joy” and think that joy means happiness and that having means always. Perhaps it is because we read Joseph Smith’s comment that, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence”, and think that means that if we are living the gospel we are happy, and that unhappiness is therefore a sign of not living it, since, as we also know, “wickedness never was happiness”. And we neglect to realize that Joseph Smith goes on to say that “virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness” lead to happiness, not that they guarantee it every moment, here and now.

Perhaps some of this is behind the push for perkiness we find in some Mormon women’s circles; the sense of failure if they are not acting or feeling chipper or always focusing on the silver lining. I recall a young friend’s irrational dismay and sense that something was wrong with her when, after breaking up with her boyfriend, she “just couldn’t seem to be happy”. We sometimes think that living the gospel means we are always happy. But that is not the gospel.

I find wisdom in the words of Henry Ward Beecher. “Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober, not to make us sorry, but wise.”

I think we modern women, protected somewhat by modern medicine and technology from the extent of sorrow our ancestors experienced , have lost our vision of the power of soberness and wisdom that comes as part of wading through affliction with God. Sorrow, sadness and heartache are not a manifestation of an absence of faith, nor a failure on our part, nor an abandonment of the grace of God. It is rather, a universal experience through which we all pass.

I remember a conversation I had with a thoughtful, old stake patriarch when I was a teenager. He had lost a son in a random shooting a few years before. He taught me that pain, struggle and heartache are what teach us to truly appreciate joy and truth. His comment was that the purpose of the gospel wasn’t to make you happy, but to transform your life from what it would otherwise be if you didn’t have it.

And it does transform it from what it otherwise might be. Recently two of my dear friends, one who understands and feels the love of God and one who does not, tragically lost a child to SIDS. I have spent hours listening to them mourn, talk and struggle through their terrific losses. And I see the empowering nature of a connection with God as I walk these two parallel paths with them. Both are terrifically bereft and sad. But the one who feels a connection with God is finding strength in a resource that the other is not able to find right now. I also know that both will feel that loss all of their lives. I know my great grandmother did.

Sorrow is an intrinsic part of life. If we spend our lives trying to avoid it or feeling like a failure when we experience it, we are missing important truths. An understanding of God doesn’t take away sorrow, but it does have the ability to sustain us and empower us as we fully experience it.

Pinning in the 21st Century

When my mother was a college student, more than half a century ago, there was “pinning”. A boy would give a girl his fraternity pin to wear to signify that they were in a serious relationship. If you were in high school or were not a member of a fraternity, you could give her your class ring to wear on a chain around her neck. The practice has dwindled considerably since then, though there are a few mid-western campuses where frats keep this tradition, some more elaborately than others.

When I was a child, there was “going steady”. You actually asked the girl if she would go steady with you and you became an official couple. Sometimes it meant she wore your school jacket.

When I was a teenager we were in the midst of the Haight-Ashbury phenomenon. Nothing was official. In high school you might have a boyfriend or girlfriend you were "serious with”, but it was never officially announced. It just happened.

When I was in college having someone you were serious about was something you never discussed. We were serious about ideas and our education and life. A girl might have a guy she loved and spent time with and she might even be living with him, but it was something on the side, not the center. People would think you were weird or needy if you were focused on defining that relationship.

After I married L., I didn’t pay much attention to what the latest form of establishing a serious romantic relationship was like, so I can’t fill in the ensuing decades. But I am intrigued by the latest one I encountered this week: a facebook notification that you’ve been sent a relationship request. A young friend recently posted his delight at having received one and changing his facebook status to "in a relationship with _________". Good heavens. Officialdom with the click of a button, miles away from the object of your delight and affection.

Things do change.

Faith and Doubt

"Faith and doubt both are needed – not as antagonists, but by working side by side to take us around the unknown curve."
~Lillian Smith (American writer, 1897-1966)

I just finished reading Robert Millet's April 27th BYU-H devotional address in which he discusses what he's learned from his own and other's experiences with doubt, despair, faith, fortitude and decision. I recommend it, particularly his references to John, chapter 6, and the words of Mother Teresa, David Steinmetz, Orson Pratt and Neal Andersen.

You can read it here.

Lessons from a Sojourn Spent Camping on a Sunny Island

1. It is happier to choose to do than to feel that one must do.

2. Watch the beauty.

3. Less stuff to take care of = more time to observe the beauty.

4. Fewer obligations (self-imposed or other-imposed) = more time to listen and to help.

5. Sunscreen and bugspray are helpful.

6. Find time for sunshine and exercise every possible day.

7. Make sure your perspective on life includes the natural world.

Modern Idolatry

"We don't build golden calves anymore, but we do carve out a pan of brownies and say, 'Oh pan of brownies, you calm my nerves.' Or, 'Oh pan of brownies, you ease my pain. Oh brownies, you help me forget my troubles.'" ~ Gwen Shamblin, Rising Above the Magnetic Pull of the Refrigerator