Cheering On and Rejoicing from Afar

There have been some videos posted online during this Olympics week that have been fun for me to watch.  

I have enjoyed watching snatches of videos of athletes competing in Tokyo, but what I have enjoyed even more, is watching their families and friends cheer them on from afar.

You can watch and listen to them as they watch during a couple of the recent swim races as well as when the final touch at the side of the pool happens

 Listen to, and catch a glimpse of Ahmed Hafnaoui's family in Tunisia here:  

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/olympics/ahmed-hafnaoui-s-family-watching-him-win-gold-is-the-best-moment-of-the-olympics-so-far/ar-AAMAeZN

Lydia Jacoby's family and friends in Alaska here:  

https://fb.watch/v/1Xiacdpqq/

(I am sure that there are hundreds of other groups of family and friends that have or will respond similarly as they watch children and friends that they love... we just happen to only get a glimpse of the families of two gold medal winners...our world tends to focus just on those...)

Any loving parent (we are not including parents who are focused on winning and their child performing exceptionally and/or better than others instead of focusing on loving support) will recognized the joy that comes to us just watching our children engaged in efforts to become better at something and learning and growing and making progress, however great or small, in that process.  

As I watched the interest, support and rejoicing (which I have seen good parents do as they rejoice in their children, of all ages, who are engaged in trying to do something that they are learning how to do, regardless of the level of "performance" attained) I remembered the statement Jesus made after the parable of the poor widow who searches and searches and searches and finally finds the coin she had lost, and then rejoices with her neighbors (who apparently were aware of and concerned as well and likely were encouraging her and then relieved and happy for her) over that find :

"Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repents."

Though I don't think there is any evidence that the angels act specifically the way that those family members and friends in Tunisia and Alaska did, but I have a feeling that the level of cheering on and celebration is at least that high as we engage in our life journeys and work with the Lord in the process of repentance as we embrace His atonement and do become free from a sin that besets us.

Enjoy catching an earthly variation of that cheering on and rejoicing.

Children and Praise, Some Good Advice

 Raising Children in Ways That Help Them Become Confident and Mentally Strong

Published Thu, Jul 15 202112:03 PM EDTUpdated Thu, Jul 15 20214:18 PM EDT

 

Jessica VanderWier, Contributor

 

As parents, we want our kids to feel good about themselves, so we try to praise them as much as possible.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Research shows that there are benefits to praising kids. A simple compliment can generate self-worth and pride. However, it depends on what kind of praise we give, as well as when and how frequently.

 

As a psychotherapist who works with parents and children, I’ve seen over and over again the negative effects of overpraising a child’s talent or outcome (“This looks amazing!” “You’re so handsome!” “Good job!”).

But these short, exaggerated reactions can cause kids to only focus on things that may harm their self-esteem. They might feel performance anxiety (“If I get this answer wrong, I am dumb”), for example, or believe that they are only appreciated for their appearance (“What if people think I look weird in this shirt? Then they won’t love me”).

So should you praise your kids at all? Of course. But there are right and wrong ways to give praise. Here’s what parents of confident, self-motivated and mentally strong kids always do:

 

1. They praise the process

When you praise the process (e.g., the kid putting effort into a math assignment), instead of the talent or outcome (e.g., the kid’s natural ability to solve math problems quickly), kids are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward future challenges.

In the 1990s, Carol S. Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford’s Graduate School of Education, studied the effects of these types of praises. In one experiment, a group of children was told they were successful because they were smart, while the second group was told they were successful because they worked hard.

When the two groups were given a variety of puzzles, children in the second group were more likely to choose a harder puzzle. Dweck also found that praising the process made them more likely to feel confident in a task even if they made a mistake.

 

2. They never make it a competition

Parents love to compare — we can’t help it! And sometimes, we’ll even tell our kids that they’re better than others (“You scored more goals than all your teammates combined!”).

Often, it’s done with good intentions. We want them to feel as proud as we do, and to be motivated to do even better the next time ... but for all the wrong reasons.

It’s not healthy to be trapped in a vicious cycle of competition. Social comparisons can teach kids to always measure success based on the outcomes of other people.

Even worse, according to research, giving kids praise in terms of comparison, in some cases, can cultivate narcissism, attention-seeking behavior and a lack of teamwork values.

The better approach? Encourage them to compare their past efforts with their present efforts, rather than with other people. This gets them into the habit of shifting their goals away from being better than everyone else and toward self-improvement.

 

3. They use observational language

Instead of saying, “That’s so good!”, you may want to say, “I love the colors in your painting. Tell me more about why you chose them.” (This is what it means to praise the process.)

Another example: Instead of saying, “You looked like a pro riding that bike!,” parents of motivated kids might say something like, “You were so careful and focused while riding your bike. Even when you wobbled a bit and almost fell off, you kept going! That was cool to watch.”

These simple language tweaks can help your kids feel proud of themselves for putting effort into something. It can also make them more excited to take on more challenging things in the future.

Lastly, it’s important to create an environment of emotional safety. If your child failed a spelling test, refrain from telling them they should have studied harder. Instead, ask them what they think they can do to improve next time.

Kids need to know that they can come to their parents not just when they have done something well, but also when they are struggling with a specific task or challenge, and that they will be met with helpful, healthy appreciation and welcome.

.

 

https://www.cnbc.com/2021/07/15/a-psychotherapist-shares-how-parents-of-confident-and-mentally-strong-kids-praise-their-children.html

Forgiveness, a look at the Greek

Below is an answer to a question I posed on the 100 Hour Board years ago, about meanings of the words translated as "forgive" in three passages in the New Testament.  Since the Board is ending soon, I have cut and pasted it below for future reference. 

The author and person for whom I am indebted for this information was a person whose used the pen name "St. Jerome"

For the benefit of our readers I have reproduced the verse in question.

Matthew 6:12 and 14: "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:"

The words in Matthew 6 (apheys, apheykamen, and aphete) all derive from the same root word, aphieymi, which is a combination of the preposition apo- meaning "away," and hiemi meaning "to go." The whole word, aphieymi, therefore means "to send away or discharge." In this sense, it has the meaning of "let go" or "set free." However, it also has a legal sense of "to release from a debt or an obligation." In this passage, as with many of the passages in the New Testament, older legal terminology has been co-opted into a newer religious terminology. So, when we ask the Lord to "forgive our debts," we are using legal terminology.  

Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God 

for Christ́’s sake hath forgiven you."

The words in Ephesians both come from chariskomai, which is a middle form of the word charis. This

 is one of those great and important words. It forms the root for our own English words charity and charisma.  Charis is translated in other places in the New Testament as "grace." It also has the sense of "to give a favor or grant a boon." The word in Ephesians are in the middle voice, something which English doesn't really have. Essentially, the middle voice are words that carry a reciprocal meaning or "for oneself." Not in a selfish sense, but in a linguistic sense. So, chariskomaimeans something to the effect "to show favor, for oneself." Perhaps to retain the sense of charis we could translate the 

passage in Ephesians as "be gracious one to another."

Luke 6:37 "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:"

The words in Luke are various forms of apoluo which means "to let loose, or free from apo- "away" again and luo "to release." This is again a legal term. It can in certain cases have the meaning of "acquit" or "to absolve of charges." It can also mean "to ransom or redeem." Once again here we 

have a legal usage, which the Christian authors used in a religious sense.