Heart hurts

One of the very difficult things:

When someone you love immensely is in pain and needs love and reassurance and to be scooped up and loved, and you are on the other side of the world.

Berating ourselves. Finding fault with others

Berating ourselves over our failures or constantly stressing over our imperfections may stir us to increase our efforts to improve, but they do so at a great cost, not only to our anxiety levels, but also to our relationships with others.

Learning to be at peace with our imperfections and failings (understanding the ongoing nature of repentance or the limits of our physical lives) along our journey to become wiser and better is key to our ability to avoid being judgmental or annoyed at the imperfections and failings of those around us who are basically trying to do good. That peace with self allows us to work with them with appreciation for their efforts rather than distress at their failures and imperfections; their inability to rise to our hoped for standard of behavior.

Certainly there are some people whose judgmentalism is founded in arrogance. But most of us who hope to become good and kind but who instead, are judgmental, are so not due to a sense of superiority, but from a habit that started with mentally berating and harshly judging ourselves.

I believe that one key to discipleship and avoiding the sin and distress of judgmentalism is gentleness towards both yourself and others as you seek to do good.

"Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed: But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, ...By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned..". 2 Corinthians 6:4,6

Grace

From a letter to Elder V. after a conversation about grace.  He asked me to write and send to him my memories of what that conversation entailed.  I didn't remember all of it.  But the conversation caused me to spend some time researching grace in the scriptures in order to understand grace better.  And that is what I ended up writing.

It's here to help me remember what I learned.

Dear Elder V,

Thanks for the good question on Saturday. It has caused me to spend some more time in the scriptures and I have learned from that study.

The first thing I should correct is my statement that grace could be defined as the power of God. Actually, 2 Nephi 11:5 indicates that it is not “the power of God”, but something unique in itself.

So, the first question is, what is it? And the second is, how does it play out in your life?

Grace it seems, is an attribute of God's very nature.

Genesis 33:5 and Exodus 34:8-9 and Ruth 2:1-3... it is an attitude of being kindly disposed towards someone, welcoming and desiring to help that person when they need help.

So God the Father and His Son, Jesus, are full of grace. They are kindly disposed towards us, have a full desire to welcome us, and assist us.

And, Ephesians 4:7, James 4:6-10, and 1 Peter 5:5.....God's grace, his kindly disposition towards us and his desire to assist, is not earned. It is a gift.

So we don't earn it. It is almost always offered. (There is one time in the Book of Mormon when the people have been so horribly awful that God tells them that the time of grace is passed for them and he's not going to get them out of the horrible situation that they created...they are just too far in and they will have to deal with the awful consequences themselves).

The question is, do we recognize this grace on the part of God? Do we receive the help that he graciously offers? Or do we fail to notice that he is offering it and try to do everything on our own?

Next question: What are these things that God does or offers to us because he is full of grace? Any person can be “gracious” if they wish to. You can be full of grace towards the people you encounter every day, being kindly disposed, welcoming and assisting. But when a being as amazing as God is gracious, that grace, combined with his knowledge, wisdom and power can result in some amazing things.

Here's a list of things that have been listed in the scriptures as being the sorts of divine assistance that God wants to give us because he has this divine attribute of grace. Some of these are HUGE.

I think you might enjoy looking up these scriptures sometime.

• Reassurance in times of trouble 1 Samuel 1:17-18
• Escape from oppression, a place that feels like home, enlightenment, reprieve Ezra 9:7-9
• Rest, love, loving kindness, restoration Jeremiah 31:1-17
• Salvation from death and sin Acts 15:1
• Assistance in our efforts to be believing Acts 18:25-27
• Ability to rejoice with hope and gain eternal perspective Romans 5
• Finding and speaking inspired words Romans 15:14-17
• Enabling you to do the work specifically He calls you to do and to abound in good works generally 1 Corinthians 3:10, 2 Corinthians 9:8-15 Doctrine and Covenants 18: 30-31
• Renewing your spirit, giving you much to be thankful for 2 Corinthians 4:13-18
• Receiving redemption and divine forgiveness, and developing patience, prudence, divine understanding Epehesians 1:6-8
• Everlasting consolation and hope 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17,
• Moral and spiritual strength 2 Timothy 2:1
• Teaching you to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and instead live soberly, righteously, a godly life, looking forward with hope and anticipating Christ's return Titus 2:11-13
• The Atonement of Jesus Christ Hebrews 2:9
• Help in time of need Hebrews 4:14-16
• Help for you to become “perfect” (complete, able to love as God loves), established, strengthened and settled 1 Peter 5:1-11
• Avoiding getting taken advantage of by mocking individuals Ether 12:26-27
• Ability to rejoice in hope, bear tribulations and feel the love of God “shed abroad in our hearts” Romans 5:1-5
• Opportunity, when needed, to receive angelic visitations Testimony of the three witnesses
• Sanctification (being made holy) Moroni 10:33
• Callings to serve as His servants Doctrine and Covenants 20:1-4
• Divine help while serving in those callings Doctrine and Covenants102:4
• Resurrection Doctrine and Covenants 138:150

(All of the above are things, and more that are not listed here, are things that we could not do nearly as well on our own or absolutely not even start...which is why God's grace is often cited as “ being divine power to do be able to do things we cannot do on our own”. But it is not the grace is the power. Grace is the attribute that God has that makes him want to do those incredible, gracious acts and helps.

The apostle Paul, in many of his letters, says the phrase “grace be unto you” or a similar phrase. It means, open your mind and heart to understand how much love God has for you and how much He wants to help, and open yourself to receive that help.

So, the next question is, how do we receive the the gifts that God offers us because of his amazing grace; the above sorts of help that are so AMAZINGLY helpful in this life and that God the Father and the Son offer us because they are full of grace?

Just as grace is an attribute, so we should seek and pray to be able to develop not only graciousness, but also other divine attributes in our own lives that will, by their nature, strengthen our ability to recognize and receive the divine help that the Father and the Son graciously offer us.

The following are things that the scriptures teach will help us to be able to recognize and receive their gracious help..

• Faith in God and seeing the gospel as more than just a bunch of commandments to obey Romans 4 and 5
• Respecting the God's grace as it plays out in the life of your spouse 1 Peter 3:7
• Developing charity and hospitality, ministering to others and treating them with as your equals, and working with God 1 Peter 4:8-11
• Believing in Christ and being reconciled with God 2 Nephi 22-24
• Recognizing our weaknesses and seeking His grace in order to be able do good works Jacob 4:6-10
• Never persecuting others, always treating others as equals, avoiding pride and haughtiness, esteeming your neighbor as yourself an laboring for your own economic support (unless you are physically unable or otherwise prevented) Mosiah 27:3-5
• Never using the blessings that come to you or others by grace in order to entice others to do or excuse wickedness Jude1:4-5
• Acting towards others with grace (“grace for grace”) Helaman 12:23-24
• Knowing our weaknesses and humbling ourselves before the Lord Ether 12:27
• Coming unto Christ, denying yourself all ungodliness, loving God with all your might, mind and strength Moroni 10:32
• Teaching truth diligently (not carelessly) Doctrine and Covenants 88:78
• Following the personal divine direction we receive Doctrine and Covenants 17

So, in a nutshell:

Grace is a divine attribute of God the Father and Jesus Christ. It is their kindly disposition towards us, and their desire to help and welcome us.

Because their power to help and bless is divine, that loving help that they give us because they are full of grace, which help includes salvation, is manifested in AMAZING ways. (Which is why grace is often called “amazing”) I mean really, what could be more amazing than the blessings and helps on that first list?

The divine help that can come to us because of God's grace is something we can choose to receive at any time on our path through life (unless we are so very horrible that we hate the idea of it) and it is a gift that will help us become far, far, far better than we could ever become by ourselves and do far more good than we could ever do by ourselves and understand far more than we could ever understand by ourselves.

There are divine attributes and gospel principles that, if we incorporate them into our lives, help us to recognize and choose to receive that divine, gracious help. Because that gracious help is a gift, we should never assume that we must earn it. The key is not to earn it, it is to turn our hearts and lives towards Him so that we can recognize and receive it.

Thanks for asking the question. I learned quite a bit.