There are many discussions going on in my religious community about how NOT to teach modesty. But if we are to throw out misleading or inadequate ways of teaching the principle we cannot just rail against the current approaches. It is imperative that we create something with which to replace them.
I
believe that the key is to help young people understand that modesty
isn't just how you dress. It is actually an intricate combination of
the divine attributes of confidence, humility, respect and charity in
multiple aspects of our lives. Modesty in its most complete forms
resides most predominantly in our spirits. Teaching that the
definition of modesty is the way we dress is akin to telling someone
that the definition of a solidly constructed house is the location of
its doors and windows. The principles of sound construction engineering in the construction of a house will influence the location of the doors and windows. Similarly, principles of modesty that you put into practice in your life will influence the way you dress. But locating the doors and windows in certain locations will not, by itself, create a sound structure. And learning "modest" clothing practices will fail, by itself, to create the divine character of modesty in your soul.
If modesty is, in fact, a combination of different divine attributes, in other words the “divine nature” young women are reminded of each Sunday, perhaps one way to approach this would be to see if we can identify divine attributes in any of the following authoritative definitions of “modesty”.
If modesty is, in fact, a combination of different divine attributes, in other words the “divine nature” young women are reminded of each Sunday, perhaps one way to approach this would be to see if we can identify divine attributes in any of the following authoritative definitions of “modesty”.
mod·es·ty
First known use of the word in English: 1531
[mod-uh-stee]
1.
freedom
from vanity, boastfulness,etc.
2.
Regard
for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.
3.
Simplicity;
moderation.
It's
worth noting that the the definition of modesty given on lds.org is
clearly related to these definitions:
Do you see any of God's qualities in those definitions?
Do you see any of God's qualities in those definitions?
"Modesty
is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language,
and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to
ourselves. Instead, we seek to 'glorify God in [our] body, and in
[our] spirit'"
While
looking at thesaurus lists of synonyms and antonyms, you may find
further insights into the divine nature of modesty:
- Synonyms
- down-to-earthness, humbleness, lowliness, meekness, humility
- Antonyms
- arrogance, assumption, bumptiousness, conceit, egoism, egotism, haughtiness, hauteur, huffiness, imperiousness, loftiness, lordliness, peremptoriness, pomposity, pompousness, presumptuousness, pretense, pretension, pretentiousness, pride, pridefulness, superciliousness, superiority, toploftiness
- Near Antonyms
- aggressiveness, audaciousness, brashness, brassiness, cheek, cheekiness, cockiness, forwardness, overconfidence, swagger, swash, temerity, impertinence, impudence, insolence, nerve, sauciness, boastfulness, chest-thumping, self-applause, self-assumption, self-centeredness, self-complacency, self-conceit, self-glorification, self-importance, self-satisfaction, vaingloriousness, vanity, disdain, flamboyance, ostentation, ostentaciousness, showiness
Think about the nature of God as it relates to the above
qualities (and their antonyms). What can you add to your list of godly characteristics after reading through them?
it is interesting to see how the list you have so far relates to what several church leaders of our church as well as other churches have said as they've tried to describe modesty.
it is interesting to see how the list you have so far relates to what several church leaders of our church as well as other churches have said as they've tried to describe modesty.
“Modesty
is often talked of in terms of dress and appearance, but modesty
encompasses much more than the outward appearance. It is a condition
of the heart.” Ann Dalton
"Modesty
is not just cultural. Modesty is a gospel principle that applies to
people of all cultures and ages. In fact, modesty is fundamental to
being worthy of the Spirit. To be modest is to be humble, and being
humble invites the Spirit to be with us.” (Robert D. Hales,
Modesty, Liahona, Aug 2008)
"Modesty
is the virtue that presents goodness in its proper color: one of
elegance rather than affluence, economy rather than extravagance,
naturalness rather than ostentation. 'What a power has white
simplicity,' as Keats has aptly remarked. Modesty is the virtue that
allows one to focus on what is good without being distracted by
irrelevant superficialities." ~Donald DeMarco, Catholic
theologian
"Modesty
is, as it were, the body's conscience. The modest person is not
interested in displaying his talents and attainments for people to
admire. He even shuns making himself the subject of conversation. He
is more eager to know what he needs to know than to parade what he
already knows. He has a healthy sense of himself as he is and is less
concerned about how others view him...The modest person is aware of
his limitations and retains the capacity to blush. A person blushes
when he is suddenly the object of praise or attention. It catches him
off guard at a moment when he is interested in something other than
himself. The essence of modesty is self-forgetfulness." ~Donald
Demarco,
In
Doctrine and Covenants 4:6 there is a nice list of godly attributes:
"Remember
faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness,
godliness, charity, humility, dilgence"
Look at the list you are compiling. Are
there other godly attributes that you would add to this list to describe modesty?
(Important side note:
virtue is another oft misunderstood word. The definition I'd assume
here is the dictionary one of “moral excellence, goodness,
righteousness, or conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and
ethical principles, uprightness)
Now
that you've read through the above descriptions of the nature of
modesty and this list of divine qualities in Doc & Cov 4:6 and
added a few of your own, you have, I believe, some keys to the major question I believe each of
us needs to answer thoughtfully.
Which
divine attributes of God, “divine nature”, are essential parts of the definition of modesty?
Write that down.
Write that down.
Once
that list is compiled and written out, can you find those divine
attributes that you've designated referenced in the following
scriptures?
"Clothe
yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God
opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble
yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the
proper time he may exalt you," 1 Peter 5:5-6
“Since
God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe
yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness,
and patience.” Colossians 3:12
It
is interesting to to me to contemplate the “clothing” metaphors
used here, and particularly in reference to this verse:
"For
ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and
in your spirit, which are God’s." 1st
Corinthians
6:20
Consider:
What does it mean to glorify God in your spirit, or to clothe your
spirit in a way which glorifies God and expresses God's divine
attributes that you've identified in this exercise?
What
does it mean to glorify God in your body, or to clothe your body in a
way which glorifies God and expresses God's divine attributes that
you've identified?
Here
are a few quotes that express how some others have answered those
questions:
“To
be gentle and kind, modest and truthful, to be full of faith and
integrity, doing no wrong is of God; goodness sheds a halo of
loveliness around every person who possesses it, making their
countenances beam with light, and their society desirable because of
its excellency. They are loved of God, of holy angels, and of all the
good earth..” Brigham Young
1
Timothy 2:9-10 which says “In like manner also, that women adorn
themselves in modest [remember the definition of “modest” we've
learned] apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided
hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;”
Do
not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the
putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your
adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very
precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4
And
they did impart of their substance, every man according to that which
he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted;
and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely.
Alma 1:27
“Don't
be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be
humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.” Philippians
2:3
“I
believe that truly it is what's inside a person that counts, but
that's what worries me. Casual dress at holy places and events is a
message about what is inside that person. It may be pride or
rebellion or something else, but at a minimum it says, 'I don't get
it. I don't understand the difference between the sacred and the
profane.'” D. Todd Christofferson
In
1869, Brigham Young told his daughters: "All Israel are looking
to my family and watching the example set by my wives and children.
For this reason I desire to organize my own family first into a
society for the promotion of habits of order, thrift, industry, and
charity; and above all things I desire them to retrench from their
extravagance in dress, in eating and even in speech. I am weary of
the manner in which our women seek to outdo each other in all the
foolish fashions of the world. I want you to set your own fashions.
Let your apparel be neat and comely, and the workmanship of your
hands. I have long had it in my mind to organize the young ladies of
Zion into an association so that they might assist the older members
of the Church, their fathers and mothers, in propagating, teaching,
and practicing the principles I have been so long teaching. I wish
our girls to obtain a knowledge of the gospel for themselves."
“The
modest person is content with living well and performing good deeds
without fanfare. For him, life is essential, rewards are superfluous.
He believes that nature opens to a wider world, whereas ornamentation
stifles. He is always averse to gilding the lily. He is confident
without being demure, unpretentious without being self-defeating. He
lets his actions and words speak for themselves.” ~Donald
DeMarco
“Among
the real heroines in the world who will come into the Church are
women who are more concerned with being righteous than with being
selfish. These real heroines have true humility, which places a
higher value on integrity than on visibility. Remember, it is as
wrong to do things just to be seen of women as it is to do things to
be seen of men.” (President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, Nov 1979)
“The
Greek translation of modesty
(kosmios)
means roughly "orderly" or "proper," and the word
appears only once in Scripture, in Paul's first letter to Timothy: "I
also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not
with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes …"
(2:9).1
Peter 3:3-4 includes
a similar message, that women should adorn themselves with a gentle
spirit instead of fancy jewelry and clothing. In 1
Corinthians 11,
Paul also addresses head coverings, an important topic given
first-century Mideast cultural attitudes about women's hair (the
essence of female beauty, and thus primarily meant for husbands'
viewing; some Christian women cover their heads today). But these
verses suggest that modesty is not just about quelling sexual
temptation. Modesty is also about viewing ourselves humbly and
dressing accordingly, refraining from using clothing (or the lack
thereof) to draw attention to ourselves and boost self-esteem.”
~Katelyn
Beaty, managing editor of Christianity
Today,
And finally:
This excellent essay on
modesty by a young student, Geneva
Wright, Princeton class of 2014 published in The Princeton Tory,
November 2012 is well worth a read. I am impressed by her
articulate discussion and recommend.it to your perusal.
What are your thoughts
after answering the questions I've posed? As we educate our
daughters and our sons, our students and ourselves, how do we teach
modesty as a complex and life shaping essential divine nature that
comes from within and affects not just what we chose to wear but how
we see ourselves and others and our understanding of the divine? How
do we move from teaching the outward manifestations as the rule and
instead teach the inner metamorphosis and enlightenment that changes
our own selves in divine ways?
